Can I Be Honest For A Moment?
I’m DISASTEROUSLY horny. I can’t hold it in anymore! I’m trying really hard to keep my drive suppressed. It’s been working so far because I’ve been a bit depressed.
I mean… I have done a little "self indulgence" in the last few days, but nothing like how I used to be (which was at least once a day, may times two or three like some horned out teenage boy)… and now I can feel myself wanting to go back to it.
But, case in point, yesterday I totally wanted to get down and dirty (all by myself) but I held back because my kids could have walked in at any second. I was like "oh well, I"ll do it later" but then I didn’t cuz I was too tired.
But now it’s like I’m building up this huge reserve of sexual tension and it’s just… craziness. I barely TOUCHED Baboo on Friday for fear of not being able to control myself. It helps in a way that he doesn’t really kiss me anymore, cuz that would have driven me right over the edge and then i’d have raped him in the In N out.
I do miss kisses. But I’ve almost given up on ever really getting anymore. it sucks. But if he doesn’t want to kiss me, there is nothing I can do. I have tried to fix the issue that was holding him back, but i guess he just doesn’t want to anymore. blah. whatever.
But that’s not even the issue at this point. you realize, that I am now going to go on my LONGEST no sex spell since I MET this boy… and the longest all year… and the longest since we’ve been together.
It’s going to make me crazy.
He’s perfectly ok with it all. la la la, who cares blah blah blah (though I think some of his nonchalance is an act! I know he misses me!)… but I’m slowly getting worse and worse. My dreams about him are going in circles of crazy.
Even my kids miss him. Jacob was like "Is Baboo (but he used his real name, ha) here yet? Where is he?!" on Friday when I got them from school.
*super sigh*
I miss him. His smell is fading on all the clothes I had from him. I feel all displaced and weird. I woke up at 6:30 in the freakin morning ALL WEEKEND LONG and couldn’t sleep. I just thought about how he wasn’t there and how lonely it all was and how he’s missing my clean room (and cleaned car!) and how i want him there… and so I’d get up and play the sims and make THEM have dirty kinky woohoo all over the place (the bed, the closet, the hot tub, the car, the changing booth, the photo booth, the sauna….. what…) and and…
I really need to get laid.
it’s making me crazy.
but most of all i need to have HIM with me near me in me beside me ahhhhhhhhhh
i want to cry.
i did cry yesterday. just for a few minutes.
because i feel so overwhelmed.
all this distance is making things very intense.
I wish it was making things calm down and fade a bit.
that’s what it should be doing right?
argh…
ok, my honesty moment is over.
I’m only making this public because I don’t give a shit what anyone things, including you dumbass lurkers who need to get a life.
*sigh*
baboo…
*grumpy face* Wednesday will be exactly three months since I’VE had sex. Haha. Be thankful. 😛
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are in N out burgers really good? Paris Hilton got busted at one. She is always at one
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*laughs* I feel you on this… I have been self-abusing myself a few times a week now because otherwise I really will go mad. It’s hard to find some damn alone time in this house with all these people always in and out all the time… I am going on… 7 weeks today… *weeps a little and thinks dirty thoughts* LOL… I might have to make my characters get together since I can’t have sex…
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ryn: haha, thank you. 🙂
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Good for you, not caring. I hate how certain topics are so taboo, yet just about everyone can relate on some level or another. Re: lol No I don’t mind.
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awwwwwww you’re so funny… making the SIMS be naughty like that. I hope this time goes quickly for you, I know you miss him a TON!
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ain’t nuffin wrong with having a bit of fun by yourself!
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Guess what? 3 weeks have passed. That means its closer to the time of this all being over!!! Yay. You’ll find a way to get through the remaining time.
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I feel ya when the hormones are most intense! Grrr! Especially when ya have your period and are Waiting To Get Over It, so You can Finally Have Sex Again! LOL.! And yeah…I agree. The “Doing It Yourself” Method only holds ya down for so long, before ya just want to…BURST! Annnd…ATTACK! Lol.! 🙂 Hugs.!
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