An evening with the ridiculous, vulgar, and stupid

so my dinner.

was gonna be this delicious looking cheese pizza.

i put it in the oven

went away for 20 minutes.

meanwhile, either my mother (who is crazy like this) or my son decided to turn the oven from 400 to 500.

yep.

so it burned.

to a damn crisp.

i peeled the layer of black cheese from the top and it seemed semi edible. I told myself that i needed to just eat it, i had eliminated a hug amount of calories by removing the cheese (ugh) and since it was the last pizza with nothing much else to eat, i had no choice.

i go to eat it.

it falls off the plate.

face down of course

right in the middle of my damn it to hell carpet.

nice big red sauce stain.

so NOW i have a brickish crush with carpet fibers for dinner.

yum.

my brother just shared a piece of his.

how nice…

i was gonna take a picture of it, but it’s just too pathetic. it’s so pathetic that the picture i took made it look good. and nobody would really get the idea of just how sad i am.

damn it.

and yes, i brushed off the carpet fibers before i ate it.

i’m starving.

i had a small piece of steak and a slice of bread for lunch.

hunger makes me eat whatever is in front of me obviously.

now i’m scared that my pepsi is gonna spill… all over me and all over my keyboard.

and meanwhile, jonathon is behind me mimicking everything i say kicking the tray with my soda TEMPTING EVIL FATE.

so i told him to leave.

and he just said "get out of my room. just do what i say" … copying me.

i’m gonna beat him with this damn brick of a pizza crust is what i’m gonna do.

BAH TO DINNER.

i guess i’ll have to drink the pepsi, and then have tea so the caffiene can make me believe i’m full.

and then i’ll be all weird when i try to go to sleep and probably have crackheaded dreams.

also, my damn sims pets game came out today and i thought it was the end of the month. so now i have to hope the stores got enough so i can buy it tomorrow.

my damn computer is possessed by a demon, it shut off all on it’s own TWICE earlier. cuz i had turned it on and went to read my book.

i suppose it was jealous of the book.

lots of weird stuff like that happening around me.

rustling sounds where there is nothing to cause such a rustle. things moving when they’re not supposed to.

whatever.

god.

so i’m a total nut who is having a bitch of an evening.

go me!

oh, and guess what else i did. like an idiot.

text messaged photo boy. messaged him liek a damn idiot.

SIDEBAR… why is justin timberlake so hot when he’s not tha thot but he’s so hot and i so wanna be his sex slave. his new video is on. he’s god damn it sexy fucking hot boy damn it to hell on a sleigh with wolves and reindeer living in harmony. god i wanna do him.  hey, someone said i looked carmen diazesque …. hahahahah. i wanna be like that girl that gets to crawl between his legs. i’ll show him just what a girl is workin with…GOD DAMN IT. THAT GIRLS JUST GOT TO LICK HIS FACE!!!! HE RIPPED A PANTY HOSE OFF HER! I WANNA BE HER. i’m horny… oh shit. and TI too? I’d take him down and show him too. oh good god. why… why am i such a fucking HORN DOG ON CRACK. i want him.*sigh* ok that little dance at the end was stupid. thanks for that, i dont’ want him anymore… right now anyway. ha ha!SIDEBAR OVER.

god i’m sick.

anyway, this crust is fucking gross.

but i’m eating it anyway.

*sigh*

so yeah i text messaged him and that was dumb. i shouldn’t have.

oh well, he’s not responding so that is that. i’m not getting upset at that, just that i did it.

and that i’m SO FUCKING HORNY.

jesus. i’m in heat like a mofo  all of a sudden.

everything is overly sexy and overly delicious and i wanna wrap my tongue around too many dicks.

yeah. vulgar damn hussy.

and now, to complete my evening, my son is tormenting everyone within an inch of their sanity.

I’ll be so surprised if I make it to sunrise…

i need an orgasm.