addicted to the lonliness

 

Pain

Make your way

To me.

To me.

and I’ll always be

Just so

Inviting

If I

ever start to think straight

this heart

will start a riot in me

lets start.

start hey!

why do we like to hurt so much?

oh why?

do we like?

to hurt?

so much?

That’s what you get when you let your heart win…

~Paramore "thats what you get"

 

I love Paramore.

Anyway. Um.

So… it was a crazy day. flooded buildings and such.

I feel… sorta pretty, but al ot ugly.

I am having conflict in a weird place in my head.

Like… seriously…

what I want feels crazy.

what I’m getting feels even crazier.

what am i talking about?!

fuck.

I dunno.

I would like to take a break from being alive.

i’ll come back.

i just want a break from having to feel and think and figure things out.

Jealousy is an ugly emotion. feeling. whatever.

I’m jealous of her.

I wish she would stop.

I want him.

I wish he would see me.

why is he married?

why can’t i …

change it.

what did they do to make it work?

why can’t i, and why don’t i want to?

why do i like to hurt so much?

god.

i’m addicted to the pain and the emptiness and the lonliness.

fuck.

i am really addicted to the lonliness.