a dumb entry about money

 

 

 

 

somehow, i managed to spend 700 bucks without blinking an eye.

i don’t even know how.

i don’t even know on what.

it’s like someone stabbed me and i’m bleeding money and i just don’t understand.

yeah,i had to spend an extra 80 bucks last week on gas, then another 50 on parking.

so there went that.

had to buy food, there went 150 on that.

add in childcare that seems to be KILLING ME for no apparent reason (i’m paying a little less than i was before actually) and HERE I MOTHER FUCKING AM.

i will not be able to pay a SINGLE bill with my first check this month. I take that back. I’ll make my car payment cuz i’m fucking SICK TO DEATH of them. But even that won’t be completely complete.

Then I have to wait until the 23rd to get this damn stimulus check and pay the rest. It will be just enough. I hope to be able to pay this 100 dollar "summer" fee for the childcare with it too. I hate this shit so much.

So my phone, which is already overdue, is in danger of getting shut off.

super fun times.

my best buy bill, will wait. that should be fine.

damn mattress people… WAIT.

fucking B of A… you’ve waited 2 months, wait a little longer damn it.

that’s all of my debt right now, and maybe it’s not that much, but it’s just not going to get paid on time.

it’s just not.

and the bills for the house i’m in?

might have to wait on those till next month.

but so far, if i don’t piss my damn landlord off by not locking the mother fucking cunt ass door, he will work with me on that.

i’m just so completely devastated with my lack of financial control right now.

what the fuck is happening?

the adventure I wanted to take "him" on is now completely screwed. I am glad that we will still have some kidfree time together, and i am HOPING my little sister will accept a post dated check for babysitting. But, what i wanted to do is just not going ot happen anymore. and it pisses me off and makes me SO MAD. and I’ll just lay it out..

first i wanted to take him up to this place up north. beautiful.

can’t do that. no money.

so i modified it, take him to the aquarium and have fun there and then a nice dinner and a movie.

can’t do it.

the fucking aquarium alone is gonna cost 40 bucks admission.

so i have to cut that part out and i can afford the second half.

i’m not asking him to pay cuz this was my idea and I wanted to take him out.

it’s just how i roll.

but my broke ass can only squeeze so much blood out of this orange (good thing it’s a blood orange. har har? oh laughing hurts) and so we’ll just have to entertain ourselves with something free.

of course, i’m going to tell him how it all fell apart and that’s gonna suck.

i fucking hate this shit.

i feel like a loser and a failure and…

it makes me feel like giving up.

I am just praying that i get this IRS shit (which i guess i can’t get direct deposited cuz of the fees that were taken out by this stupid bank when they processed the e-fiile… LAME SAUCE) before the end of the month so that I can pay all my bills and start out clean in June.

I just want to start out clean. No more late payments, everything in a row. and start clean.

Please, let this just happen for me.

top all of this off with me being a gloomy mcstupid brains

oh fuck, is there a meeting thing today? arg!

ok, guess i’m going to a meeting till lunch. someone kill me.