Regrets.

I want a regular job. With a paycheck that doesn’t make me want to cry after I realize I have under $50 to work with for two weeks after paying my rent. Why am I getting my PhD? I’m not going to make all that much more money than my counterparts who joined the job force after graduation. In fact, by the time I get out of here I’ll probably be making significantly less than they are. I don’t think I came here for the promise of money. So why am I here? What am I doing? Should I try to figure out how to escape with a masters? 

All I know is I’m tired of being stressed. Stressed about grades. Stressed about whether my paper is good enough or not. Stressed about the fact that for some reason my science vocabulary sucks. Stressed about whether I’m doing enough work. Stressed about money. I am fucking sick and tired of being stressed about money. I know I can go to my parents and they’ll send me money. But I’m fucking 23 years old and I don’t want to go running to my parents for money. I want to stand on my own two feet, damn it.