Mush.

So I finally sort of approached the L word with Greg. (I mean past the "I have a secret" thing that I tried, and failed, prior to leaving for the holidays) It still didn’t work. I approached it by asking if what I remembered from a few months ago (him shaking me awake to tell me he loved me) was real or a dream. Apparently, it was a dream. And that’s that. He’s response of "No… I don’t think I said that." followed by pretty much silence other than "Any other questions?" has made me retreat a little. I guess he figured that I should have been upset by this response because he kept asking if everything was ok and kept being overly attentive all night. Which really just pissed me off more — I just wanted to sleep and not think about it. I’ve been trying to push it out of my mind, and all I decided that night was that he most definitely is going to have to be the one to say it first. Obviously, if I lay it out there at this point I will probably be shot down.

I know he isn’t the most articulate when it comes to feelings, and that he moves as slow as a snail when it comes to this stuff… I’m just getting impatient. I keep telling myself that it’s stupid and to just spit it out when it feels right — which there have been a lot of those moments this weekend. But I don’t want to freak him out, and most of all I don’t want to be disappointed. I know he cares about me a lot, and I guess that should be enough. I guess I’ve been spoiled by being with men in the past that weren’t afraid to go into the feeling realm of things. Maybe I need to rethink where I thought this current relationship is heading.

I really just wish I had kept my mouth shut.

atlas nugged

January 9, 2011

maybe if someone is really serious and dropping the L-word left and right after a few weeks of dating it’s weird, but after like six months it’s probably reasonable for anyone to expect a “where is this going” talk

Unknown Author

the two biggest problems women have in relationships are #1 expecting or hoping that a man will change for the better (through her help or through time or through his own motivation etc.), and #2 Making the relationship move forward by saying words (like I love you, or Will you marry me) etc. or just in any way trying to take the lead instead of letting HIM make the decision to move it forward.<br> The reason this is a problem is not because I am anti-women’s lib or old fashioned, but rather because if the woman moves things forward when the man wasn’t – it is because the man didn’t want to move things forward, or didn’t want to say those words, but he ends up saying the words or agreeing to set a date etc. – things he would not have said or done if it had been entirely left up to him. And then what happens? He ends up in a marriage that wouldn’t have happened if he had been the 100% initiator, and down the line, the inevitable divorce when she is fed up with a man who isn’t into the marriage or as loving as she wanted. Don’t make that mistake. If a man loves you he will tell you without needing you to take the lead.