Frustration

Warning ahead of entry: I’m going to whine about being fat. And it’s justified.

So, I started this training deal a little over a month ago now. I huge reason why I was starting this was because it’s high time I lose some weight. Now, I’m not so fat that I can’t get through doors — but enough so that I’m slightly self conscious about how I look, and this self consciousness is relatively new for me. Really, my goal is to get down a little bit more than I weighed when I was sick. (Sick: See post-Brian weight when I couldn’t eat because my stomach hurt too much. I looked gross when I was at my lightest, so I’m aiming for like 10lbs more than that). 

ANYWAY. So I have not lost a single pound. Not one. As a matter of fact, I’ve gained 2 or 3. Yes, I am aware that muscle weighs more than fat. But muscle building takes much longer than losing fat, which should be a quick process. I keep telling myself that I’m at least looking better in the mirror. Well, I put my fat jeans on yesterday and they were a little bit snug. What the fuck. I run 3-4 times a week, I do yoga 5 times a week, and I do an abs routine when I have the energy. I haven’t been over-eating. I haven’t really changed my diet at all as to prior to this where I was maintaining my weight, with the exception of attempting to cut down on alcohol consumption. Oh, and I’ve been drinking way more water than I usually do. Which is making me feel like I’m always thirsty now. Can someone tell me what is going on?

I’m tired of my muscles aching. If there isn’t going to be a pay off, what’s the point?