Annoyed.
I’ve had this chip on my shoulder all week. I think part of it is because once I get home from work I have almost nothing to do. So, I’m just going to whine a little bit about the things that are bothering me.
School: The new semester is looming on the distant horizon and I find myself in what seems to be the same predicament I’m always in prior to a new semester. That being that I have a questions that should have simple answers, yet no answers can be found. For example, what department am I in? Up until today I hadn’t thought it truly mattered, other than I’d like to know what guidelines to follow so I can graduate in a reasonable amount of time, because my mentor pays my salary — not either department I’m between (Psych or Biomedical Science) — as it turns out, I am sorely mistaken. If things don’t work out in my favor and I get landed in the Psych department, I will take a significant decrease in pay… And only get paid 9 months out of the year. Unless I teach during the summers, then I’ll get paid during the summer. It’s just awesome news. Please keep your fingers crossed for me.
Dating: I am absolutely baffled. As I wrote last time — the new boy admitted to being sad that he wouldn’t see me for two weeks. I took this as a good sign. He had a shitty week last week, and I sort of felt bad for not being home last weekend. So I decided to leave a 6 pack of beer on his doorstep, with a note saying "I know you had a rough week. Hope this helps!" The original plan was to sneak through the gate (his apartment complex is gated), and leave it on his doorstep so he’d find it when he got home. Well, when I got there, there was an old guy waiting for the mail guy to finish delivering the mail right in front of said gate, and the office people were still there. So, I went into the office and asked the woman if she could take me in so I could drop off the present. Ok, so maybe I used the words "sort of boyfriend", but I didn’t feel like explaining the weird situation. So she took me in and I dropped it off — but he was home. So I knocked and gave him a kiss and left. Fucking awkward as shit. He said thanks a few times via text and explained his awkwardness ("I surprised to see you/thought you would’ve left already/got out of work early"). Regardless, he’s been acting… distant since then. I was flat out ignored on Monday, and it appears I won’t be talking to him tonight, either. (We talked the days in between. But still.) I know I’m probably over reacting, but even when we have talked there’s been somewhat of a weirdness. Who knows. Fuck dating. And I really hope his chatty land lady didn’t go "It was so nice to meet your GIRLFRIEND…" blah blah blah. We haven’t talked about that step, and I’d be freaked too if my landlady asked me something like that. Hopefully he has the balls to say wtf is wrong with him.
I’ve also had a headache since oh… A week ago. Today was a little better, but damn. I guess I should be thankful the weird "liquid moving in my sinuses" sensation is gone. Oh, and my check engine light is on. My bridesmaid dress fits strange. I’m moving in a month and I don’t feel like it.
Oh, and not having a debit card for the last two weeks has made me want to scream. Actually, I have screamed a few times. Fuck you, whoever stole my debit card number. Fuck you.
The fucking cricket or bug or tree frog or whatever is outside my window is driving me insane at night. I really think that’s where this all stems from. That fucking noise.