Warning! Chinese Bras
I feel compelled to warn the public about the latest danger from overseas. It seems that in addition to pet food that kills pets, baby toys covered in lead paint, and infant formula that dissolves a baby’s kidneys, the Chinese have now tragically botched up on underwire bras.
It seems that when manufacturing the bras, the factory ran out of one type of metal for the under wires, and began substituting a different type of metal. The problem is, they used strips of each metal in each bra. As electricians know well, if you have two different metals in a salt (read sweat) solution, an electric current is generated between the differing metals, one acting as a cathode, the other as an anode.
While the small current so produced is not physically harmful, (aside from a certain tingling sensation) the danger is that if you wear one of these bras and begin to sweat, a small electric current will pass over your nipples causing a medical condition known as Nipplus Erecticus, which may cause an embarrassing outline on your new spring blouse.
Signed,
Loof Lirpa, MD
Helsinki Medical Association
*waves hello*
Warning Comment
Randomness on the street. Guy in a trench coat to a passing woman: Miss, I’m from the American Import Quality Assurance Department. Your nipples seem to be hard, would you mind taking off your bra so I may inspect it? The resounding slap was heard through the neighborhood and beyond.
Warning Comment
LOL you crack me up!
Warning Comment
Loof Lirpa is still around causing all that fear and chaos? Oy gewalt! Yes, I had a principal once who would comment on the “headlights” that were not appropriate for women school teachers. She would counsel women teachers to wear padded bras. A padded bra on me? Harumph! I just work jackets.
Warning Comment
Ohhh China! I saw their counterfeit cigarettes too.
Warning Comment
we need to just stop buying anything from china
Warning Comment
“Tingling sensation”? Hmm, where would one find such a bra, I wonder? I could use one of those to jazz things up. =)
Warning Comment
At least this was funny. When I heard about China blocking YouTube and (in today’s newspaper) breaking into security files of governments around the world by way of cyber-espionage, I didn’t know how to react. Still. Don’t you think you missed an important point? What if someone dips a hand into this electrically charged minefield that is the bra?
Warning Comment
I have been warned….
Warning Comment
Y’know I just *know* you get the biggest……kick(you thought I was going to say something else, didn’t you?) out of writing stuff like this, don’t you? Kinda puts a new spin on the term headlights, doesn’t it?
Warning Comment
From scrotums to nipples. You don’t loof me, brother, I know why you went to med school.
Warning Comment
Okay, as soon as I saw the title to this entry, I immediately thought of the Chinese finger trap toy…except on bras. You know, like…I couldn’t get my boob out of the cup? I think my idea is better. ~
Warning Comment
That might actually be worthwhile. Tingling, eh… *goes to internet to do some Chinese bra shopping*
Warning Comment
Oh, wow! *smacking myself upside my head* And here I thought the increased nipple sensitivity was the one perk of perimenopause. Oh…the disillusionment! ROTFLOL!
Warning Comment
That doesn’t sound too bad, actually.
Warning Comment
Loof Lirpa heh? Like the bird…or perhaps April Fools?
Warning Comment
Hahaha… Oh Rob… :p You had me goin’ for a minute there, Mr. Loof Lirpa.
Warning Comment
sometimes i almost believe you.
Warning Comment
i wish that were true. i would buy that bra lol
Warning Comment
*laughs* thanks for the giggle my man. *winks*
Warning Comment
hummm maybe we could get them to make underpants the one with the padded bottoms yeah! lol
Warning Comment
ryn: Thanks for the advice. You always have good advice and encouragement! 🙂 Did I mention that we all work together too? lol Yeah. So I’ll be surrounded by them 24/7. Oy….
Warning Comment
Thanks for the note =) I don’t mind being bookmarked. I’ll add you to my favourites, if you don’t mind. =)
Warning Comment