Traces

 

The room wanted to spin, so I put my legs on the floor and held on to the arm of the couch. She had jokingly told me she could drink me under the table, and she was really doing it. This was a night I wanted to be drunk anyway, a night I hoped I would eventually pass out since I hadn’t been able to sleep for so long. She looked at me and held my hand, and said, “You really don’t drink much do you?” I gave a wry grin, because I was afraid to shake my head no.

She helped me up, and put her arm around my waist. She steadied me as we left the party and walked upstairs to my apartment. I gave her the key and she let us in and led me to my bedroom. She sat me on the bed and removed my shirt, then leaned me back on the pillow and removed my jeans. I heard a further rustling of clothes and felt her get in beside me. I opened my eyes to see she had removed her dress and was in her under garments, a sexy bra and panties.

I was in bed with a beautiful woman, her body warm and pressed against mine; I was functional enough to realize  that she may be insulted if I didn’t make advances, so I reached down between us and stroked her lower belly. As I leaned close I noticed her scent was delicate and feminine, a scent I could not describe but would be able to pick out from a thousand others. She whispered, “Sweet man, it’s not necessary,” then took my hand in hers, brought it to her mouth, and kissed my fingers gently. I felt her warm breath on my cheek and she kissed there too, then whispered for me to sleep. Sleep was my enemy though, I was afraid to sleep, because whenever I had closed my eyes since that last shift in ER, I saw the scene all over again, all that blood and the little boy’s terrified face.

“Something happened at the hospital didn’t it?” It was like she could read my mind. Sometimes women are like that – they know things about you even though you have never told them. I nodded but I just couldn’t bring myself to tell her about the drunk driver and the little boy. How nothing we did seemed to help him.

“Close your eyes,” she whispered again.

“I can’t,” I whispered back

She didn’t say a word, just put her hand on my forehead. It felt remarkably cool compared to the warmth her body seemed to radiate. She brought her hand lower and as she did the pressure from her palm gently closed my eyes. I didn’t see the boy or the blood, I saw a gentle golden light, somehow steady and comforting, and at last, I fell asleep.

When I awoke I reached for her but she was gone. I opened my eyes to the afternoon sun and noticed a strand of her hair on the pillow next to me. As I reached for the long strand, I detected just the faintest trace of her scent.

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August 14, 2009
August 14, 2009

*hugs you* i can’t imagine the nightmares you must have sometimes.

August 14, 2009

the angel of sleep takes many different forms

August 14, 2009

i can just imagine that drunken, wry grin of yours…

August 14, 2009
August 15, 2009

I have such respect for what you do – you and all your colleagues. ~

August 15, 2009

I thought you’d like that scent… ; )

August 15, 2009
August 17, 2009

RYN: I’m fine, hon. Just been swamped at work. Thanks for checking on me, though. Means the world to know that I have friends who miss me and care. 🙂

Extremely busy and not particularly inspired; hence, the absence of entries, I suppose. And you? How are things? I’m usually not one to ask this sort of question, but How true was this entry?

August 17, 2009

I hope you are sleeping better these days, although it seems more likely that you are not. I can’t believe how many people I know who have sleep issues..myself included these last few months**

August 17, 2009

RYN: Duly noted, but a fine lot of good you do me over on the other side of the country! *pouts*

August 17, 2009

Just…wow…

August 19, 2009

Don’t you just hate it when your life interferes with your life like that? She sounds like a powerful woman. See her again, kinsman.

August 20, 2009

very powerful.

August 25, 2009

Amazing.

September 4, 2009

almost 3 weeks. i’m tired of waiting for your to write again….hurry it up already!!! 😛

September 6, 2009

You’ve got mail! Time for an entry too!!! 🙂

September 8, 2009

I know this feeling too. And sometimes, I think something must be horribly wrong with me because I have an sick ability to forget about it. To dehumanize it?! I don’t know what I mean, just that, at least you know you’re human? I really don’t knoww hat i mean. I need to go to bed, been up long myself, for other reasons of course, but yes, hope you’re sleeping well dear friend. Entry soon?

September 11, 2009

RYN: Are you kidding? I would have probably gotten, ‘Rob doesn’t work here.’ Of course, then I could have said, ‘I know. HE WORKS IN THE HOSPITAL!’ then laughingly hung up. Come to think of it, I’m going to do that all weekend now–just repeatedly prank this place.

September 13, 2009

gorgeous.