Solve This

I was perusing old medical journals and came across some interesting, yet very strange, medical syndromes. I am presenting some of the most fascinating here for your amusement. I do ask all who read this to leave a note picking the one condition of the seven which is NOT a real one.

Winners get a free physical exam, unless you are a guy, in which case you get a free six pack of beer

I     Ondine’s Curse

Ondine was a mythological water sprite who gave up her immortality to marry a human. After giving birth to their child, she found her husband asleep in the arms of another woman.

Ondine uttered a curse: "You swore faithfulness to me with every waking breath, and I accepted your oath. So be it. As long as you are awake, you shall have your breath, but should you ever fall asleep, then that breath will be taken from you and you will die!"

The cause is not fully known, but probably genetic, and sufferers of this syndrome may stop breathing when they fall asleep. It is NOT Sleep Apnea, which is usually caused by airway obstruction. In Ondine’s Curse, the brain ‘forgets’ to signal the body to breathe.

II     Jumping Frenchmen of Maine

These unfortunate people become ‘extremely startled’ by any loud noise. They jump up, flail their arms about, and often collapse. Then they seem susceptible to anything they are told to do, doing it robotically, without seeming to think about it.

It was first identified in the 1878 in a small population of French Canadian lumberjacks in Moosehead Lake, Maine

III     Uncombable Hair Syndrome

This is a very rare disease, which has produced less than 100 cases in medical journals since 1973. It often is found in children between the ages of 3 months and 12 years and is exactly as it sounds. The silvery-blond or straw-colored hair stands out straight from the scalp and is impossible to comb. Also known as ‘spun glass hair.’

IV     Genital Retraction Syndrome

Genital retraction syndrome (GRS) is a psychological condition prevalent in Asian cultures which causes sufferers to become convinced that their external genitals are shrinking or slowly disappearing into their bodies.  The widespread belief of the has led to so-called "penis panics," in which thousands of men become hysterical and require medication to reduce acute anxiety.

V     Designer Jean Syndrome

This peculiar condition was first documented in the late 1980’s when highly agitated teenage girls, fresh from buying new tight fitting designer jeans, would come into emergency rooms complaining of dizziness, shortness of breath and ‘blue hands’. It was determined that the shortness of breath was caused by extremely tight jeans limiting abdominal movement which in turn prevented normal breathing motions of the diaphragm. The blue hands were not from low levels of oxygen (cyanosis), but the blue dye leaching out from the jeans onto their palms as the girls tried to smooth the jeans down for a better fit.
 
VI     Cello Scrotum

<sp

an style=”font-family: Arial;”>First reported in the British medical journal Lancet in 1974, Cello Scrotum is an extremely painful form of contact dermatitis resulting in inflammation of the testicular sack. It is caused by repeated abrasive contact (through trousers of course) with the cello during vigorous passages in various classical works. The treatment includes topical anti inflammatory medications, padding the crotch during performances, and temporarily abstaining from cello.

Rainbow Dust, a female reader and classically trained cello player, is of course immune because she is female.

VII     Alien Hand Syndrome

Alien Hand Syndrome, or AHS as we call it, is a neurological phenomenon in which the patient is convinced he has lost voluntary control of one of his hands. It is often caused by stroke or other brain trauma. In some cases, the alien hand actually tries to harm the patient while the ‘good’ hand tries to stop it, resulting in a weird form of wrestling match between the hands.

This syndrome was popularized by Peter Sellers hysterical performance in the 1964 classic movie, Dr Strangelove.

Answer on Friday