Mr. Subliminal

I saw an old Saturday Night Live skit where one of the cast kept saying subliminal insults, and I had a good chuckle over it. That got me thinking though, and you all know how dangerous that is with me.  I decided to research subliminal messages to see if they really worked, and got conflicting results.

 The first widespread use of subliminal messaging seems to be in the old drive in theaters from the 1950’s and 60’s. They would repeatedly show a flash of popcorn and soda on the screen for about a twentieth of a second, not long enough for the brain to actually register it, in an effort to increase sales at the snack bar. A golden research opportunity was lost however, because no controlled studies were done. Did sales actually increase when the subliminal messages were shown, or were the sales figures the same? No one knows, because no controls were in place.
 
Some reputable scientists stated that all the subliminal stuff is just hogwash, while a group of clinical psychologists said there were measurable results in some of their experimental models. Most studies used visual messages though, not audio or verbal cues.
 
So, Dear Readers, I decided to do some of my own subliminal work. What would my goal be? Well the same goal any red blooded young fellow’s would be. Get a good woman to give me some good lovin!
 
My control study was essentially my entire life so far. Some success, some failure, about the norm for most guys I guess. I decided to study subliminal auditory stimuli and then measure its effect on pretty young women.
 
Here is what I did over a two week period to girls I thought were cute. I met them while playing in clubs, and there was a lots of background noise like clinking glasses and nearby chatter. My goal was to determine if they would be more susceptible to things they thought they heard me say, even if I seemed too nice and innocent to actually say it.
 
Example I
Me: Oh, what’s that perfume?
Her: Why its Chanel # 5 ( or any other perfume )
Me very softly: I think I  wannastickmyfacebetweenyourbreasts.
She: What did you just say?
Me: I think I like that the best.
She: Oh…. why thank you.
 
 
Example II
Me: That dress, (outfit, top), is flattering on you.
She: Why thank you.
Me: Such a nice outfit makesmeneedtonuzzleyourbelly
She: What???
Me:  Such a nice outfit is like a puzzle really. I mean to put it all together so it all fits
She: Well, it takes a certain fashion sense.
 
Example III
Me: What do you think about the new president elect?
She: I’m really happy about it
Me: I wannamakeyoumylovemama
She: What did you say?
Me:  I really love Obama
 
Results:
NO SEX!! I must therefore conclude that auditory subliminal messaging does not work on attractive young females.  Bemylittlechristmaspresentbaby.  I mean, we ALL KNOW that I am totally irresistible to the fairer sex, so it could not possibly be something wrong with me could it?  Comeseemetonightmylittlelovedoll. Well could it???
 
 

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December 17, 2008

Maybe you need to suggest more hardcore things than nuzzling. lol

December 17, 2008

Hahahaha! I can’t imagine why it wouldn’t have worked. I say keep trying (and writing all of them down here for us to laugh at…I mean ponder).

OTC
December 17, 2008

lmao! this is wonderful. i’m sorry you didn’t get the desired results =(

December 17, 2008

I’ve never been a Pary girl…is it similar to a party girl?? lol

December 17, 2008

lmao. i have to say to this one that you’re just amazingly funny sometimes.

December 17, 2008

In my opinion, if I heard some guy mumbling like that I would just think he’s off his rocker. ~

December 17, 2008

Shame. You’ll just have to keep experimenting… ~

December 17, 2008

ha ha ha ha ha

OTC
December 17, 2008

ryn: i just got the strange urge to come and be your love slave.. i can’t resist you!!

December 17, 2008

“nuzzle your belly”?!? were you talking to a woman or a dog?? who nuzzles bellies??? you are so PG, dude.

December 17, 2008

Bravo! Bravo! And in case you didn’t get the message, Bravo! It’s nice to get some useful advise from a real field study. I guess it’s time to re-vamp my own experiments…seems that my walking into a club with a couple of Ben Franklins sticking out of my shirt pocket has become passe’. Hurry and write more, the weekend is near!!!!

December 17, 2008

I thought you already had a “good woman giving you some good loving”? Next time, try this experiment: My hubby heard on NPR, or some such nonsensical radio program, that a scientific study concluded women are attracted to a male who whistles. Being from the same blood-stock that you profess, he had to give it a go. So he spent several weeks situating himself in the middle of stores where noone was about. Then he would begin to softly whistle. Each and EVERY time, women started gravitating to the widget section he was in! It even worked in the lumber yard!

December 17, 2008

I’d be careful with that subliminal stuff if I were you. I don’t know but what it might have the wrong affect Iwanttohugyouyoubighunkofman on the wrong sex. Scary isn’t it. LOL

hah. you clearly didn’t try on the right women.

December 17, 2008

lol I’m afraid that if you had done that to me at a bar, I would have thought you were a little strange….. 🙂

December 18, 2008

LMAO! bringthepumpkinpieandthewhippedcreamsantababy

December 19, 2008

funny, I’ve had quite the opposite results. wannadoitinthebar? might be too long. my personal favorite is a simple domedomedomedome under my breath. works wonders.

December 20, 2008

Hey you! Thanks for the reminder. *snickers* I can’t believe I did that. You would think as long as I’ve been on O2 I would have a better grasp of those things. So tell me, have you been naughty or nice this year? Is Santa bringing you anything special? Wishing you the very best this holiday season! Merry Christmas,

December 21, 2008

how strange…I have this sudden ugee to have my firm belly nuzzled, to have someones face between my silky breasts, to be made into someone’s love mama…. why it’s the oddest thing letsgoallnightbigdaddy.

OTC
December 23, 2008

ask and you shall receive

December 24, 2008

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

December 25, 2008

LOL Merry Christmass

December 25, 2008

Merry ChrisTmas!

December 25, 2008

Hahahaha! Wow, if you really tried that… I’ve got to say you’re brave. You are hilarious. ryn: Sure, if you’d like. I’d like to see some of your work too! I think you are the male version of me. 😉 A much smarter one, though… I’d never have the patience or the talent to do what you do. Merry Christmas, Rob!

December 27, 2008

i think you should try the same tactics on a few guys and see what kind of result it yields….

OTC
December 28, 2008

hey you comereadmylastentry. where’ve you been? leavemelotsofnotes. hope you had a merry christmas whywerentyounakedundermytree? =)

OTC
December 28, 2008

ryn: well that is very good to know =)

December 31, 2008

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

December 31, 2008

There was a scandal when it was revealed that in an early Betty Boob Cartoon,(Pre code) her dress blew up showing a bland underside. For just one or two frames there was pubic hair painted in by the animators. Not enough to actually “see” on the screen but I guess it registered!!!