the drama of life and birthday parties

so Malachai’s birthday is soon upon us… she was born on May 5th…but this year that falls on a Wednesday…so her party is going to be on the 1st, since that’sa Saturday. I have been planning this since about the end of January, trying to decided on a location, because our back yard is just way too small. So after a lot of mind changing (typical for a 5-6 year old) she decided on the skating rink (as opposed to the college swiming pool)

She is enthralled by the new Alice movie.. and you would think that Alice or the cat would be her favorite characters…nope not my Malachai.. she loves the Mad Hatter and the Red Queen… she dressed up as the RQ the other day and pointed at Kia and said "off with his head" LoL too cute…

Here is part of the drama.. there is nothing out yet for bday parties that has to do with the movie. I did happend to find invitations on ebay (what would i do w/out that site) and got them at a pretty reasonable price (no more than i would have paid for normal invites) They are really adorable, the person who designed them did an excellent job, so I have that out of the way. I also found on ebay one of those edible cake topper sheets, and it has the Mad Hatter on it.. and it says Happy 6th Birthday Malachai (such an added benefit that it could be personalized)

So here is where the drama comes in … no more decorations available with the movie theme. So I’ve improvised… I’ve found pictures online from scenes of the movie and I’m printing those out and putting them up as posters… the table cloth i’m just going to pick a solid color that goes with the colors of the cake (which I’m making myself) …but as far as party bags for the kiddos  i’m lost. I could possibly make them myself being crafty and using one of the pictures I found, but do I really want to waste all that time and effort for the kids to just throw them out? not really lol…time is way too precious for me (especially with class assignments waiting to be done). So I’m thinking I might just  scratch the party favors… or find something simple and usefull like bubbles (do the kids really need more candy?)

 so far her party hasn’t cost me much which is another plus.. $100 for the skating rink rental… $10 for the cake once you count all the ingrediants and the cake topper, and I figure $20 for plates/napkins/drinks/chips/and party favors…. so $130…sounds bad huh? I’ve fixed this cash problem because Malachai’s best friend’s bday is the week before hers…so we’ve decided to combine their parties since they will be inviting the same friends…which cuts my cost in half… we are still doing two cakes (I’m making both) and they will each have their own theme… The girls don’t know we’ve decided to do their parties together.. so it will be a surprise for them…

End of my party drama! not a whole lot there to begin with thankfully.

The flipside to this issue are the parents of other kids who think they have to compete with you on party grandness… does that ever go away? I don’t remember who I was talking with, but when I told them that we were having it at the skating rink they said "don’t you feel like you’re copying Espen’s parents" Espen is in Malachai’s class…and had his party there earlier this year… WTF is it really an issue? I’m having her party where she wants it, not because that’s where another kid had it at….small town drama enters the world of birthday parties… does anyone else see the absurdity of the whole thing? 

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with that rant here and gone… on to deeper issues.. my father… is a pain in the ass.. for those of you who don’t know…he’s diabled…and when all this happened oh 3 years ago, I was asked to move in so my parents wouldn’t loose the house… well now he’s getting SS…and he feels that Malachai and I should be moving out of here.. one I gave up my house to move in here (granted it was a rental, but I had a great landlady and loved the house) two, if I were to move out, they would still loose the house….

so Kia asked mom yesterday if we could do a family thing this weekend…and we were all talking about it and dad got pissy because we planned things without him…they weren’t set in stone, we were just discussing our options… so I went to my room to work on school stuff and eventually mom went to bed and Kia left to go to his g/f’s house. When he came home, dad started talking to him complaining that he didn’t want to go because I was going and that he’s tired of playing second fiddle to me when it comes to mom..so he wants to take a family trip, but without me and Malachai..of course he doesn’t think I heard any of this although he talks loudly and you can hear him in my room when he’s talking in the living room…

it pisses me off that he’s so negative about me and Malachai living here… it’s like he’s turned the whole situation around to be me leeching off of him and mom, when I pay bills, buy food and clean the damn house … but I don’t do any of that well enough to his liking. He said and I quote "we can’t go anywhere without them, she always has to go and I’m sick of it, it needs to be just me, you (kia) and your mom" so he’s going to want his granddaughter to miss going on the family trip to the zoo…. fine i can deal with that… and i will tell mom that we aren’t going just because he’s an ass and thinks that he has a quite voice

so as far as i’m concerned, he can not speak to me any more… of course he still doesn’t know that I heard everything he said last night (which there was more.. mostly about us living here and me never cleaning and always sitting on my butt at the computer during the day) news flash: I AM TAKING ONLINE CLASSES….if i was taking traditional classes I wouldn’t be here during the day…and he’s have to bitch about me not being here to do housework…he thinks that I need to be cleaning from the time I get Malachai on the bus until mom gets home… it takes about 2 hours to do the daily cleaning, laundry, dishes, vacume, etc… and I’ll do school stuff in the mornings…and do the cleaning in the afternoon…. but that’s not good enough for him… i’m being lazy… GRRRRR

okay that frustration is out….until he opens his mouth again… now do I tell mom or just go on as if everything is normal? probably go on as everything is normal… she’s got enough to deal with when it comes to him.. his meds make him sleep a lot..so it’s normal to see him in the recliner snoozin most of the day, especially in the evening when they are watching tv… but he’ll swear he’s awake… the other night he was out for 2 hours, randomly talking/yelling in his sleep.. mom got a text message from her friend (pretty much her only friend outside of the family and her work) and he yelled at her told her it was rude for her to be texting when he’s holding a conversation with her…. he’s insane I swear… and he gets mad if she and Lou plan to do things…. so it’s not just me that he doesn’t want her spending time with….she’s supposed to sit at home and watch him sleep/twitch/kick/talk/yell in his recliner… that is supposed to be her life… I serously think we need to comitt him… that would make mom’s life easier.. well to a point… but yanno just a random though through anger!

I’m going to video

tape him tonight or sometime and post it on one of my next entries… the sleeping/twitching effects….

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so that is what has been plaguing my mind all morning (not so much the bday party)… just trying to calm myself down since last night…. not keep it bottled in, but not burdening mom with it…. of course if I don’t go to the family trips she’s going to want to know why… so I’ll have to go… I’ll just take Malachai off with me and leave mom with dad (which will also have  her wondering what’s going on and probably make her ticked at me) This weekend is supposed to be a Clippers baseball game… and I have no choice but to go for it… Malachai is going to visit  mark’s mom for the weekend and we’ll pick her up on sunday before the game… if I want my daughter back lol I have to go… no other option…

anyway off  that rant….won’t speak of it again unless Sir Pain-in-my-Head gets on his high horse again (which he probably will)

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now I must get off here and get my assignments done…turned in… and then move on to the house work (ick have to clean the cat box today)

more later …

<3 Cole