sometimes i hate being an adult

 the title really says it all lol. i swear  being a kid was so freaking easy compared to what we have to deal with as adults, well as far as my childhood goes… i know others have had worse times coming into life and i won’t belittle them by saying any different. what i’m talking about is like in kia’s case.. .he really has been spoiled from the time he was born up until about a year ago. i mean he’s still spoiled, but things aren’t just handed to him…he had to get a job and pay for anything he wanted beyond house bills and car insurance and all that. 

what brought that train of though on is a mixture of just about everything going on in my life. i mean i still have to deal with malachai’s dad, which in his defense, he’s doing better with this wife than he did with the last one…although they decided to have 2 more kiddos over the past two years…so yeah, glad it’s them and not me.. but anyway, they got married two years ago on base…and his brother and his wife got married in the court house…so they are doing a double wedding ceremony to renew their vows…this sunday… yeah and i have been invited because i’m friends with his brother and his wife….i’d say i am friends with mark and his wife, but they really only speak to me when necessary. so it’s going to be one of those days where i have to go but don’t reallly wanna…one half wants me there the other doesn’t… but malachai is in the wedding ceremony… so i’m going to grin and be graceful…not that i begrudge him and amanda being together, i truely hope they are happy… but at the same time, would you really want your ex to be at your wedding or would you wanna be at your ex’s wedding? most people would be saying heck no! 

that’s not even the whole issue with hating being an adult… i’m running my own business, and in this economy, i’m trying to make my prices fair to both me and to the parents who pay me to watch their children… i mean i can’t make them too high because most people can’t afford the outragious prices of childcare these days… but i finally found a happy medium and lowered my prices, enough to give the parents a break and enough to make a living. but now i am loosing a couple kiddos, not for good, but for a few months.. so i’m in the process of advertising like crazy… 

so i go to the mail box today, and i knew it was coming, but it’s time for me to start repaying my student loans back… ick! i mean i know i owe it back… but i’m not quite financially set… i mean i can make the payments, but it’s going to take a lot of penny pinching and budgeting with the money i have left for the month… so that is what really finally put me in the mindset of wishing i was still a kid and mom took care of it all. lol the funny thing is the situations have pretty much reversed… i mean mom still works, but when it comes to their finances, i’m the one that pays the bills, tells her how much money she has to spend and all that… kinda like giving my mom an allowance lol

my sister is still the pain in the rear she’s always been… i’d say not so much her but her hubby… but well she’s letting him control everything… i was told this morning when they picked up malachai that harlie isn’t allowed to come to chai’s party… because of something she did/said over the weekend… do i think that’s fair, no, can i do anything about it, no… it’s a no win situation. i really wish she’d give me custody of harlie again, but he won’t allow it because that would make harlie happy. he’ll start in on zoey soon…. i think even at this point he’ll be the same way with addyson, which is his biological daughter… he just isn’t parent material.. he wants the kids to be seen not heard, wants them to obey every command and not argue with his rules. i really hate to say this, but she’d be better off divorcing him at this point. but she won’t…i’d like to think they could work things out, but i don’t see that happening, she is going to live under his rule until she either wakes up and divorces him, or something bad happens, worse than how they are living right now. 

wow i think that is the most i’ve written in a long time  lol… but i have the house to myself right now since they took malachai with them to go pick up some of tommy’s things from up where he lived… and i didn’t ‘have any of my daycare kids today, so i really got a day off without kids. mom and dad are at dad’s docs appointment… and kia is at work… so it’s me, the two dogs and the cat… who is jumping on the table to get my attention… 

so i guess i should end this and give her the love and attention she is demanding, before she sits on the laptop to where i can’t type ne way lol…