Queen of swords

….in shadow (reversed)

Lightseers Tarot by Chris Anne

….”sharp and sometimes cold communication, strive to use your words wisely and to refrain from being “mean” or “emotional”, indifference, a message to use your head more and your heart less, aloofness, bitterness”

There is so much in this card meaning that has applied to my life over the years. I’m usually not mean with my words, but there have been specific times I didn’t hold back out of hurt and anger. Emotional on the other hand, we’ll just go head and file that under Aquarius and say no more.

I have been indifferent to a lot of situations in my life, most recently when it comes to anything with the idk/maybe new guy. You’ll have to read one of my previous entries for that ball of wtf. And I know the indifference is there because of what Tony did and the rollercoaster of emotions (remember Aquarius) that I went through over the last year. Gonna be honest, even though I know I want nothing to do with him now, there are still moments that creep into my thoughts and he invades my dreams from time to time. Which reminds me of the hurt and utter devastation he brought into my life.

Aloofness…. another way to say indifference….

Bitterness….yes I was bitter once the heartbreak started to fade away. But that faded away too.

So what does that leave me with? Indifference. At this point using my head more and my heart less is telling me that I am more than likely wasting my time with the new guy. Which hasn’t been a lot of time, because the whole extent of whatever this is, has been strictly through conversation.

I don’t know how well the rest of the year is going to go for me. I know there will probably be more invading thoughts and dreams of Tony. It makes sense because we are coming to the year mark of when it all started to go sideways.

October is going to be hard….or maybe I’ll face it with indifference 🤷‍♀️ …. I do know that I don’t want to be sad at Yule this year. I don’t want to bring in next year with heartbreak like I did this year. So maybe I will just try to embody the Queen of Swords for the remainder of 2023.