There’s some hoes in this house, tryina fuck…

 So. Today has been all over the place.

I hate doing my moms job. I don’t know how she does it. It’s so hectic.

Swimming was nice. Until it puffed up and started raining and lightening out. We had to go home an hour early. The kids didn’t really complain though, so that was a nice change.

Tonight my parents have a concert. Mom said they might be gone all night. Too bad I have no one here to spend time with me. Mom even said she wouldn’t care if we had a party (me and Brett) as long as it was cleaned up by the time they got home tomorrow and we kept a close eye on everyone. I love that about my mom haha.

So. I don’t even know. I’m pretty sure I don’t get to see John this weekend. Which really fucking blows. After the week I’ve had….. I need it. -Sigh- Why can’t he live right down the street…

Three days. Three fuckin days until Gino is gone forever. And I’m sure I won’t be seeing him again before he leaves… Which kills. Fucking KILLS me. I don’t even know anymore…. He said he’s going to leave me his favorite stuffed animal to hug when I’m breaking down. And a few other things. And that he’s writing me a goodbye letter. He’s going to leave it at Joe’s house, because he’s the only mutual person we know… Which sucks. If it were an option I would never go near Joe again. But. I need to know what he’s going to write. Besides, I’ll only be there for about 5 minutes tops. To go in. Grab it. Tell him thank you for letting me stop in and get what I need. Then leave. Walk home and read the letter, then break down some more. Gotta love it. I can’t stand losing people. Losing your best friend is even worse.

On top of it. The person who has told me countless times before that I need to kill myself and stop wasting space messaged me last night saying that I NEED to give him another chance. To prove he’s changed and that he’s a good friend. Fucker is trying to tell me I NEED to do shit. The fuck does he think he is!? I will never do another fucking thing for anyone again unless IIIIIIIII agree to it. I’m done bending over for people. Done.

I just want to sleep. But my nightmares are getting worse every time I close my eyes. Why can’t I just get the fuck over it and be happy for once in my fuckin life. GOD.

<3CaseyRenee<3