X’s and O’s

Spoke to him again tonight.
Not sure what i’m going to get out of this communication.
Not sure what I want to hear.
I know deep down I’m looking for some type of closure.
But it’s been 3 years. I should be able to get over it.
He admits to being an asshole and partying too much
but that’s not why I left.. at least I don’t think that’s why.
He cheated, I didn’t. But I do forgive him.
My current boyfriend cheats too.
I don’t even know why I’m admitting to this.
I just can’t be alone. At any cost.
including my pride.