Dilemma of Sorts…

I am absolutely not ready to date again.

It’s only been 3 weeks since the ultimate downfall of the manfriend and I

 

However…

It seems as though I have 2 gentlemen callers who have been "waiting" for the demise of my romantic connection.

The first is absolutely not my type, he’s comically handsome, blue collar and at least 10 years older than me (although I have never asked)

I thought it was harmless flirting on his part but when he found out that my marital status is now officially single he’s been turning up the charm full blast.

I received a beautiful bouquet of roses today that I donated to the nearby church as I can’t take care of a plant to save my life.

I don’t believe I’ve led this man on in the least bit, all conversations have been strictly professional and I have let him know that there is absolutely no romantic interest towards him on my part. He told one of my colleagues that he likes the fact that I’m challenging.

I’m concerned as I’m sure that’s how rapists view their prey "challenging"

He’s not the reason why I am writing this though, I actually didn’t think the story of him would take up this much time.

 

I digress.

The second gentleman caller is quite handsome, very sweet and we have most things in common including family background and values. I met him a week ago during a girls night out.

There has been no exchange of numbers nor has he actually asked me out but he has visited me at work twice and has been dropping hints that he too has the long weekend off and that he has no substantial plans.

The dilemma is that I am not emotionally ready to date again and he is 7 years my junior.

I do not want a rebound relationship nor do I want to hurt him plus the fact that most younger men are statistically known to cheat on their older partners.

Or maybe I don’t want my heart broken (yet again).

I hate being single. I hate dating. This breakup has really put a toll on me. I don’t even know who am anymore.

I don’t want to write about this anymore.

I’m too sad.