NOJOMO 2 – Ireland chronicles of a naughty toddler

The journey to Northern Ireland was long. We had to leave the house by 8am to drive cross-country to Carlisle, where Cassie and I transferred cars to my dads and we drove to Stranraer. Cassie was remarkably well behaved up until this point – though we did get a rousing rendition of "Moo Moo Jersey Cow" for half an hour. The last two hours of the journey she slept, so that was quite peaceful.

Cassie was severely underwhelmed by the boat, I think she envisioned us going on a pirate ship.  She kept asking "Where’s the boat?’ and when I took her out onto deck, she pointed at the lifeboats and went "There’s the boat Mummy, come on!" and tried to get me to go over to them. She was good though, we’d come prepared. I had asked her to pack her Trunki with all the toys who wanted to come on the boat so she had plenty to play with. By the end of the journey she was starting to seem very tired, she kept lying down on the seat and asking for her blanket. My dad throughout the journey was very good with Cassie, he was a great help but Siobhan pulled a face at Cassie’s chatter a couple of times and halfway through the journey lay down on the seat and pulled her coat over herself for a nap. Cassie was being really funny with Siobhan anyway, usually she’s all over her like a rash but Cassie wouldn’t even look at her and every time Siobhan made overtures towards her, Cassie screeched at her. 

When we got to my Granny’s house, Cassie was very wary. She wouldn’t go to anyone and clung to me. She would chatter a little bit to my granny Ede and every time she was a little overwhelmed, she cocked her head to one side, smiled slightly and said "I’m shy" which utterly charmed my granny. However, she was awful with my dad and Siobhan – she’d talk to my dad and let him interact with her but when he went to hug her or pick her up, she’d leg it and cling to me. You would have thought Siobhan was the devil the way Cassie was behaving, I have never seen such hackey looks coming from a toddler! I know this is normal toddler behaviour but Cassie has never behaved like this before, she didn’t see my dad and Siobhan that long ago, she knows them and Cassie is never usually funny with strangers, she’s usually really easygoing. 

We ran into a problem. In a normal day, I let Cassie take her milk to bed with her in a non-spill cup. She usually has a beaker during the day but because we were travelling, I’d let her have her non-spill cup all day. She’d chewed the plastic spout on it and it was leaking. Also, my dad informed me on the way over about a whole lot of ground rules which are quite hard to enforce with a toddler – no food or drink except in the conservatory, even in non-spill cups, no shoes or coats of any kind beyond the conservatory. May I add, my granny’s house is a mostly open-plan bungalow. So Cassie wasn’t even allowed her milk in the bedroom at bedtime, when I desperately needed to make her routine the same after such an overwhelming day. I couldn’t give her the cup anyway because it was leaking. My granny lives in quite a rural area but there is an Asda 10 miles away, so I asked if we could pop out to get Cassie a new cup and my dad and Siobhan refused because they said with the time it would take to get one, Cassie could already have been settled in bed and sleeping. 

I let Cassie drink a cup of milk before bedtime and then tried to put her to bed. Cassie always cries when it’s bedtime, she’s too worried about missing something. You have to let her whinge in her bed by herself for 5-10 minutes before she settles herself and goes off to sleep. It is never more than 10 minutes and it’s quite a distinct whinge, she sounds like she’s complaining rather than upset. Cassie decided that she didn’t like her bedroom. She’d been put on this nice Wayballoo blow-up bed that my dad and Siobhan had kindly brought but she decided she didn’t like it. She didn’t like the double bed in the room either. Usually I sleep in the other room and I presumed I’d be in there with Cassie – the pink room with all the cuddly toys, but Siobhan was in charge and she preferred the other room so obviously put us in the room next to the bathroom where there was a lot of footfall *rolls eyes*. The room we were in also had an entire wall of mirrors, which I think really was freaking Cassie out in the dark. I’m only surmising here because Cassie isn’t able to tell me, beyond "I no like my room". 

Cassie cried for two hours. It was horrible – my heart truly went out to her, here she was in a strange place without her daddy, in a room she didn’t like, without her milk to comfort her. My dad and Siobhan kept telling me not to go into her, otherwise she’d never settle and I felt really awkward and torn because they kept going on about how letting them into your bed would spoil them and how she needed to learn she couldn’t stay up with the grown ups and she was testing me. I didn’t think it was that at all because these cries were different and she always settles within 10 minutes. She was screaming over and over "I want my milk!" "I sad!" "I scared mummy!" and I was having to limit myself to going in once every 20 minutes while what I really wanted to do was force someone to go to Asda, get her cup, put milk in it and then gether out of her room and let her drink her milk on my lap until she settled again. 

Cassie hyperventilated. Cassie was absolutely soaked by the time I plucked up the courage to go against what all the other adults were saying, to endure the complaints about Cassie infringing on adult time and get her from her room. Her hair was plastered to her head, her clothes were absolutely soaked through, she was bright red, gulping and really shaking. She clung to me and buried her little face into my shoulder and wouldn’t look at anyone. My dad admitted defeat and took himself off to Asda to buy her a new cup. I felt like a terrible mother for letting other peoples opinions affect how I parent my daughter. She didn’t speak at all, just kept gulping and quietly crying as I stripped her down, changed her, washed her, brushed her hair and put fresh pajamas on. My Granny obviously was soft like me because while Cassie was crying she was on edge as well and kept saying "I do hope she’ll be alright" and when I brought Cassie out, she was fussing over her as well. Cassie sat on my lap while we waited for my dad to return, she pulled my arms round her and she held both my hands and kept whimpering "I sad mummy, I really sad". 

When she was given her cup of milk and I tucked her back in again, she cried for about 5 minutes, but it was a different cry and then she dropped off to sleep – in my bed, rather than the Waybaloo one. When I went into bed about an hour or so later, she huddled up to me and grabbed my hand in her sleep and rubbed it against her cheek for comfort. I spent all night cuddling her.