Social networking sucks and why I won’t in 20-yo

My mind jumbles so much, being unemployed really fucks with your head. It rambles from topic to topic, interest to interest.

Being at home for long periods of time develops some odd behaviors.

I noticed when my high school roommate and I were unemployed for a stretch, I noticed it was a whole fucking procedure just to leave the house. I also noticed this with my live in girlfriend. We decided where we were going and get ready. Ususlly I was ready first and had to sit to wait for the other. And then get pissed. I’d sit down, put down my things, turn on the tv. In extreme cases I would even fall asleep, maybe even lie down. So they’d be ready and I’d have to half get ready all over again. And then there were things I didn’t remember I needed the first time. Usually involving finding some VITAL piece of shit paper that made no sence, but the universe froze until I could find it. So then I tear up the house looking for it while the other is now waiting for me.

I’m so gods damn sick of Facebook. All year, we’re finding out what is really behind the site. They’re using just about every word you type as a keyword supply to target advertising. And all these sites want to connect to your cell phone every other social account and your e-mail, which is pretty desperate since people rarely use that anymore unless it’s a work or school account. A new years resolution is for me to update less on that damn thing. It’s such a waste of time. The web used to be a place where we could blog and people could look back for posterity. Or something. People used to think myspace quizzes were a waste of time, but I LEARNED shit about women. More than I do looking back on 300 tweets on where people are buying frozen yogurt and how bored they are at work.

In ‘94, I was one of the first people at work to get one-a-those digital cell phones. My mother works for the phone company, so they offered her one from the first they offered. Now everyone has an I-fraud and I have a basic bar style cell phone. Folding cell phones always break. I couldn’t even find one without a camera, and the damn grainy resolution. Every other month a friend shatters an I phone. I have to keep my minimum text plan on because if I don’t, the texts don’t get blocked, I would get charged a damn quarter for every one received. I have att and maximum rollover now. IT gives me a headache every time I use it. I managed to score a $10 Bluetooth at Fry’s that helps with the microwave cancer headaches.

I’m realizing a lot of my depression which is more accurately a Disappointment (in society, pop culture, fast food, big box businesses, upper class government, etc). There used to be a time when I was… happier? Before all this twittering and everyone’s heads in their phones when you’re hanging out. Maybe I wasn’t happier, but when I had a shitty day, I wasn’t stupid enough to post everyone I knew about it. This year turned out to be the year of the expose. I found out about so much shit that is self-automated to fuck the middle class over, I basically gave up, no on my 5th month of unemployment- without benefits.

I have been looking at pictures and going thru boxes of crap to sell that I’ve basically hoarded the past 2-3 decades. I think a lot about the times I was happiest and the coolest people I know. And I’m realizing we’re some kind of vagabonds, people that pop in long enough to be the hit of the party and then take off. Your image of them is always cool. There are celebrities that died before their time, and all the others that are living trying to revive their career to their glory days. Without my girlfriend, I am basically on my own again. This year was pathetic. I whined and posted what pissed me off about people, isolating myself from a lot of groups of friends based on a tirade of a mutual friend. I overstayed. There’s an episode of STNG, where a lot of political diplomat shit is going down and Captain Picard asks “remember when this used to be a ship of exploration?” That nails what I’m saying. I have to resolve to shut up and move on before shit gets dramatic. I was vocal on Facebook too long. I hung out at the party waiting for something to happen and crying about it, instead of hitting the next one. I was putting another $20 in a machine that wasn’t paying off.

I decided I have to stop posting on those sites, but I’m tempted to reply to cool people’s things. And it starts again. Maybe I’ll post them in a private message. I want to quit cold turkey. I want to make another profile and just have the people that don’t drive me crazy on it. I want to unfriend the assholes, which of course will start a chain of hen gossip and attitudes. I can’t even post something like this over there, that will start shit, too.

I’ll try to post every day this week. A daily flow like this should put my theoretical readers up to speed by then.