11/11/11: my lucky day

It’s all in my head at the same time.

First, I quit nanowrimo and now why…

I was psyched for 11/11/2011. I had given up on my lucky clothes after 15 months and I decided to wear them. I was charged to go out and look for work at the top places I’ve reapplied for and held out for.

I was really sad to not be in Vegas, because of all the triple dates since 1/1/01, I thought 11/11/11 would be my luckiest day. It’s my birth month and it’s a great number in craps. It pays out the same as skinny dugans, but you don’t lose all your come bet action from the previous hand. Sorry, too long to get into a craps lesson here.

I went out in the rain and on every tv I saw was news that just overwhelmed me. The president fo the united states, who I will refer to from now on as president jellyfish (no capitalization intended), because of the spineless bullshit the country has put up with for the past 3 years.

Damnit, my biggest irritation I’ve noticed in writing is when I begin a sentence paragraph with “I” and I catch myself doing it all the time. I’m getting off track…

So the only thing that jellyfish and congress could agree on in 3 damn years is making policy that companies will get tax break incentives to hire veterans first, from all those returning from Iran. And that of course has an unheard of actual date on the calendar at the end of this year.

Basically, they said if you are or have been unemployed and you are not a veteran, FUCK YOU. I backed the president and I even supported the troops coming home. And they all shit on me, in my own country that I was born in. Imagine there are veterans who were not born in this country that will have hiring priority over me.

This IS a big fucking deal because I’ve been busting my ass for 15 months, that’s over 60 weeks wracking my brain and body trying to get hired. It gets worse from here and even more impossible starting in January. There are only about 100,000+ veterans that should be looking for work then, including the ones in country now.

My first thought was fuck this, I was considering going to southern California and someday even back to Vegas. Do you know how fucked it is to live in the 2 worst recession hit states in the union? Would I rather deal with a snowy state? Hurricanes? Bible thumpers? I don’t know, honestly. Imagine having no money to think of planning a move to 49 other states that will not hire me.

I have talked to my friend in Winnipeg and we discussed unresolved feelings and getting married for joint residencies, for me to work until I get back on my feet, and so we can come back to the US when we do.

The shittiest feeling has to be feeling like I have been one of the literally millions in this country to be shit on yet again in our unemployment. Like I don’t have a country on top of that. Fuck my patriotism.

I want to put on my applications for “ever serve in the armed forces?” “No, I do not have Post Traumatic shock syndrome and will not snap and go fucking nuts on you one day, injuring many people in the work place.

That’s what happened to me on my lucky 11/11/11. And so I quit writing nanowrimo with an excuse written on my profile basically a shorter version of this blog. I could have pasted it here.

So, I only lurk on fb, I have lurked oin twitter since. And I stopped writing yelp. This is it. I feel like a fucking idiot for writing my opinions, who gives a shit when I’m down. People want to follow the cool guy from Vegas, not someone who’s lost every fucking thing without a damn thing I can look forward to.

And I have tried spending a few hours just trying to write a list of things I can look forward to. You ever have car problems where you crank the key and just year the clicking of the starter trying to engage?

Never before have I felt more like I’m stranded on a god damned deserted island.

Thanksgiving will be like any other day. I’ll sit home and watch dvds and not turn on “live” tv to remind me how shitty the holidays are.

Fuck consumerism made in china buying sheep of this country.

I went on a rant instead of writing about my birthday and a couple of strange endings I’ve been seeing. Maybe next time.

I wonder if New Zealand is looking for mail order husbands on the net.

the armed forces?” “No, I do not have Post Traumatic shock syndrome and will not snap and go fucking nuts on you one day, injuring many people in the work place.

That’s what happened to me on my lucky 11/11/11. And so I quit writing nanowrimo with an excuse written on my profile basically a shorter version of this blog. I could have pasted it here.

And I have tried spending a few hours just trying to write a list of things I can look foreward to. You ever have car problems where you crank the key and just year the clicking of the starter trying to engage?

Never before have I felt more like I’m stranded on a god damned deserted island.

Thanksgiving will be like any other day. I’ll sit home and watch dvds and not turn on “live” tv to remind me how shitty the holidays are.

Fuck consumerism made in china buying sheep of this country.

I wonder if New Zealand is looking for mail order husbands on the net.