Holidays make me edgy

I hate the holiday season. It’s stressful. It’s not as jolly as the commercials claim it to be. It’s an area on the calendar that is weeks of metaphorical pain. PAIN! I have to admit that I bring this pain on to myself because my M.O. is that I don’t start shopping until Christmas Eve. This year, I threw that plan out the window. I plan on starting my shopping after Christmas. People can just wait for presents.

This whole plan of mine is so much easier than it used to be. Before, the spouse (more on this in a bit) and I would have to divide our time between his parents and mine. Let me tell you, this was not a day full of family good times. My in-laws (amazing people. My MIL and I have an amazing relationship and she prefers me over her daughter) would have Christmas breakfast and then presents. My sister in law would be edgy and mean because she did not like that MIL was trying to accommodate everyone’s schedule. I used to joke that we knew Christmas was done when she would cry. Once we made it half an hour.

Now my dad….oh, my dad. I love my dad fiercely. He raised me and I raised him. It was me and him conquering the world together. Or at least until a woman would enter the picture and then it was me, conquering the world. My dad is also a dick. Like an old school, women should be quiet the man is in charge, type of dick. He has no idea how he raised a daughter to be so loud and outspoken and talks back to her spouse. But this is how I am, he needs to deal with it. My dad is also highly competitive with the in-laws because he wants to be seen as the greatest parent. Dick Dad does not equal greatest parent. But he did his best. I think I turned out OK. My point is that on holidays he would be competitive with the time I had at the in-laws. We would get to his house, “Hija, how much time you spend there? You spend that much time here, yes?”

Yes, my father is an old school Spanish guy. You see my issue.

My spouse and I moved from our home state to another state about 3 years ago. The last few Christmas holidays have been great. We don’t have to go anywhere. We can sit and watch TV or go to a movie (this year, Star Wars!). But the competition for best parent is still on. Who can call first? Who can be on the phone the longest? Who mailed the best presents? And even, which set of parents package got here first? This year, they arrived on the same day. I talked to my dad today. He asked me, “Was our box bigger?”.

If you made it this far, my many thanks. Now, my spouse. I decided and we discussed that I would not refer to him as my husband but as my spouse. I also advised that it may be hard but I am working on the pronouns. Pronouns are hard, y’all! I requested that we do the whole they/them and work on she/her. I slip up because it’s new and 22 years of conditioning.  I also am working on calling them by their new name. It was nice that I was asked to help with that.

This is still hard. Trying to remain positive is what helps. Most shocking thing, he shaved his beard.

Because I’m lazy, here is a copy and paste of what I wrote to my best friend:

“I’m good. Really I am. It’s a day to day thing you know. The beard was shocking because he walked in and was I like, “No, not SIL”. But I took a last picture of me and the beard.