Selfish Courage or Weak attempt at hiding?

He wakes up to the day that beckons,
He awakens with tears dried at his eyes,
His heart still hurting from yesterday,
He pulls himself up wishing to stay sleeping,
Anything would feel better than going through that pain again,
He washes his face and stares deeply into the mirror,
He’s but a shadow of his former self now,
And such wounds were self inflicted.

He puts on his façade to the world,
Hoping nobody will have a clue of what really is inside,
That torn down ability to forgive,
That smile that only hides the frown he carries.

He’s spent the last two years playing this game of his,
Tricking and avoiding at all cost the pain within,
He’s gone through memories and past friendships,
Hoping one of them may hold the key to this Pandora’s box inside him,
He wishes he could close it tight and lock it,
So nothing else could escape.

He only has the image of his heart,
The body has shriveled and withered away,
He lives now only because of regret,
Knowing he cannot take his life,
Because instead of giving him a way out,
It would be a final blow to all of those he’s loved.

He thinks “maybe it wont be so hard without me”
Trying to convince himself his existence is meaningless,
But it wouldn’t take much to convince his mind this time,
This time nobody pointed out his mistakes but himself.