After thinking for a while…

I decided to skip the group home. I want to be able to move out on a positive note with my parents. Sure I might not like that they are giving me a lot of restrictions with a lot of different things but because they haven’t kicked me out by now tells me they really do love me. I have a lot of work to do to fix my relationship with my parents and even family in genera. Quite honestly if I move out into a group home, I would probably be miserable and regret it. I have it lucky where I am at. I may get serious anxiety by loud noises that trigger me here sometimes, and I may feel a little claustrophobic but I am grateful I have a house over my head and two loving parents that always gives me second chances. A lot of people don’t have what I have and I should be grateful. I am. My parents try anything in their power to make me happy, it’s just I need to earn their trust again before I make a big step and move out. I must have had a crazy dream I don’t remember because I am just having a huge realization about this. Plus I’d miss my cuddle moments with my dog miserably. I see people on the streets a lot asking for money and stuff and I am so sad that it could be me one day if I don’t get my shit together with my parents. I have no relationship with my sisters, and I want to try to fix that too. I don’t want to make my family miserable by the bad choices I make. I am done. I am happy living here and I need to expose myself to more things. Maybe doing one thing that scares me the most for a week. Like the first one is to open my blinds in my room. That may sound silly to you but I love darkness. However, maybe more sunlight will change things.