07:17-07:42

I’m not meaning to be another depressed desperate complaining teenager that only notices what isn’t instead of what is. I haven’t been sleeping very much. I’ve had nightmares and I’ve also been wired. I’ve tried getting fried and I’ve tried taking unisoms but I can’t be depending on that shit to get to sleep. I’ve been holding a rock the past couple nights and I haven’t had nightmares so i know that’s working for what it’s supposed to but nightmares aren’t the only reason i don’t sleep.

i moved in with my boyfriend of about 6 months about 1 month ago *give or take* and it’s been hectic. I’m not ready to live with someone else just yet, i guess, at least not him. it’s something completely different than what i’ve been used to. it’s slowly been killing me and it upsets me that i can’t be happy being with him right now. we both need to grow up more.

i’m moving for a while about half the country away from where i am right now. i hate myself so much right now that it only seems right that i leave for awhile. be off "on my own" *with my sister, her husband, and my niece*.

i don’t feel any better saying all of this mainly because i don’t feel like i wrote it very well and even wrote much at all. with the way i am feeling this should be pages and pages of complaining but it’s only a couple paragraphs. oh well.