Shitting and Telling.

I can’t believe I just sent Johnny a text saying, "I just pushed out a turd the size of your penis. Fully erect. Gosh, my butthole hurts."
Oh, the things you admit when you love someone as much as I do.

See, Johnny and I talk about poop on a daily basis, but the fact that I admitted that I took a crap that big may have been pushing it a little too far. To make things worse, I’m admitting it publicly online. This is worse than kissing and telling; it’s shitting and telling, and I’m not sure how I feel about it.

Oh well, this is me. Take it or leave it.

Yes, I will go on to tell you that taking a dump of that size was no simple feat. It was in no way small in size, in fact it was probably about twice the thickness of a normal turd (or penis, have you) and about an inch longer than what is claimed to be the "norm" for erect penises.

Can you understand why it hurt so bad? Seriously!

Now, on to other news… The Green Bay Packers are playing right now. It’s currently halftime, and they are whooping some ass. Sorry Patriots.
*cough*notreally*cough*
Now, as a child I always wondered why football players wore skin-tight pants. I was, and still am, pretty sure it has something to do with aerodynamics, comfort, and bettering the outcome of the game or whatever; but frankly, I no longer care. I enjoy seeing grown men run around in skin-tight clothing thankyouverymuch. ;cP It is quite fun to watch well-toned muscles ripple in slow-motion. Especially in HD.

Oh, the Packers are back on the screen and I zoned out for a few minutes there. Back to finishing this entry…

I’m kind of at a loss on what to continue writing with. If I write about anything that has to do with my family, it’s kind of awkward and creepy to use that to follow up talking about shit and men in skin-tight clothing.

Oh, I know…

Is it just me, or am I the only one that has a hard time with phone sex or sexting? It’s not that I’m uncomfortable talking dirty, or anything of that nature, it’s just… There’s only so many words or phrases you can use before you run out of original ideas. It’s even harder when you lived with the guy for well over a year, because you can’t pretend to be shy or clueless; he knows just how sexy you can be. Gah. He hasn’t complained so far, but I’m almost positive he’s tired of hearing me say, "I want you to cum inside of me." How unoriginal is that? I know I can do better.
I’m sure it doesn’t help that I am beyond tired of phone sex, I mean, it’s a great alternative when you’re half a country away from each other… But in all honesty, I’m craving the real thing; and no, not from just anybody. Johnny, and Johnny alone can cure the craving I have. Especially because any other cock is completely a disappointment next to his.
Too far? Yeah……..

Okay, well I have to pee after having 3 cans of Coke, a glass of milk, and a large rootbeer float. My Packers are begging for my full attention. Well, more-so their skin-tight pants and rippling muscles… =P But, either way, I’m out.