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I have this uncanny ability to make myself numb at the most inconvenient of times, but it’s always temporary. When I subconsciously decide to start feeling again, it’s a complete whirlwind of emotional disaster. So, that’s what my life has been like the last few days, or so.

I saw my aunt for the first time today since learning of her cancer. She’s handling it pretty well, at least in the presence of others, but if she’s anything like me (and I’ve been told I’m basically a clone of her) I know she’s having a hard time coming to grips with everything within her own head. Somehow, I want to let her know that I’ll always be there for her, and remind her that even though things may get really hard… She’ll never be alone.

I haven’t really had the chance to update lately because I’ve been beyond busy with school. I’m taking a CNA course, and I only have 4 weeks left, but since the course is so short – everything is so condensed. There really isn’t a lot of extra time to spend on myself between class and work, so it’s just study, study, study for now.

I may be moving out to Pennsylvania sooner. Instead of getting a new car right away, I may just fix my car and drive it for another year or two before it dies altogether. So, once I’m done with my class, I’m going to get a job as a CNA and just save a shit ton of money so I can move out to Pennsylvania once there’s an opening in the apartments that I want to get. There’s an opening in March, but that’s too short of notice. Johnny actually agrees on this idea, so we’ll see what happens.

It all depends on what happens with my aunt, too…

Okay, I’m going to go… I have the stomach flu. Peeing out of your butthole isn’t pleasant. Just sayin.