It’s Love and Sifting for Gold

Sometimes, I feel like I’m sifting for gold – dealing with all the rocks, dirt, and debris just to mine a small amount of gold. It’s tiring, but it is more rewarding than you can imagine; a tiny amount can be worth thousands of dollars.

In my life, I’m dealing with a lot of bullshit, a lot of drama, and a lot of opinions. People never hear or see any other side but their own, and most of their time they are only interested in helping themselves.
This is what I mean by "sifting for gold…" I am constantly doing my best to brush away the useless junk that is clouding my way to getting the tiny pieces of "gold." In this case, I mean my future, my happiness, and the desires of my heart. I would be lying if I said it didn’t bother me, of course it does. However, I have to remember what is best for ME and prove to everyone else that I am capable.

—————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

Saturday, I went to my future school to take the COMPASS Reading exam to test my proficiency in reading. Online, it asked you to make yourself available for 2 hours. In order to be eligible for the CNA program, you needed to get a 40 on the test. Well, I got there and the secretary led me to my computer. After answering all of the questions, including entering my information, the test took me 20 minutes. At the end, it printed out my test information, and had me speak with the assessment administrator. I passed. I did really well, actually. I didn’t get a 40… I got a 93. I’m happy about how that went.

Tomorrow morning, I need to call and get my assigned student ID number and figure out what I need to bring for enrollment on Tuesday morning. I heard last week that enrollment starts at 7am, but they also informed me that there is a high demand for this course. I really hope everything works out for me to start the class in January. I’ll let you all know as soon as I do.

—————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————-

After going to the antique store with my dad and Mary, we went out for breakfast. Originally, we were going to go to Denny’s, but we couldn’t find the one that was near to the antique store, so we drove for a while. We ended up going to a restaurant that we used to frequent when I was little.

When we walked in, there was an older woman that was sitting at a table adjacent to our’s. Her face was SO familiar, but I couldn’t quite place where I knew her from. After sitting for a while, it hit me. She looked a LOT like a teacher that I had when I was in 3rd grade.

She had gotten up to use the restroom, and I told my dad that when she came back, I was going to ask if she happened to have been a teacher at a school called Woodrow Wilson. However, when she came back, she came up to me and asked what my name was. I told her what it was, and she said, "I knew it!" Honestly, TWELVE years later, my 3rd grade teacher remembered who I was. We chatted briefly, she told me that she was retired, asked about what I was doing in life and where I was headed. She seemed so geniunely happy to see me. It was strange, though, because she seemed SO different than how she was when she was my teacher. She seemed happier, less strict, and in a way, she seemed "lighter" like… there wasn’t so much weight bearing down on her shoulders anymore. Actually, she told me that she kept a photo album of all the students that she ever had, and when she went home – she was going to flip through the album and remember the year I was in her class.

She has turned into such a sweet little old lady. Before I left, she excused herself from her mother and said, "I need to give my girl a hug."

It was definitely an experience I won’t forget… Honestly, though, how who remembers their students after 12 years? And, no, I was not a bad kid. In fact, I NEVER got in trouble in school until I was in 6th grade. I was afraid to get in trouble, so I was always on my very best behavior.

—————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————-

As I promised, I will let you know how things are going between Johnny and I.

We’ve been talking every day, through phone calls or text. We haven’t NOT talked since the day we started talking nearly 2 years ago. Although we’re not a *couple* we still act like it, like I have said before. We’re honest with each other as well… He tells me if he’s flirting or if he is *trying* to get dates. He says that he isn’t looking to replace me, though.

We had a pretty long conversation the other day about how we think that we must be destined for each other.

We met on an online dating site that I never knew that I joined. I found out about the site through an email that I nearly deleted, and out of boredom I filled out my profile and contacted only one person. Him. My 99% match. Since the day I sent him that very first message, we have never gone a day without contacting each other.
Now that I am almost 700 miles away, we are separated, and going through a "rough patch," he has been honest with me and said that he is *trying* to get dates. Not that he is trying to replace me, but he doesn’t know if he is SUPPOSED to be with me or not. The lack of successful dates, and the absence of any interest at all from other girls just shows him that he isn’t supposed to be with anyone else.
If that doesn’t mean we are destined to be together, I don’t know what else does.

So, when I do finally move out there, we are going to be together again. He even said so. We’ll be dating each other, not just friends working toward a relationship… It will be Johnny and Sam again. The main reason why we aren’t together now is because of the distance, and I understand that. <3<3<3<3<3

—————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————-

Friday  night, I was talking with my dad.  The subject of Johnny came up, and I gave him  the honest truth. I told him exactly how Johnny and I met, and told him that I am almost 100% positive that we are meant to be together… and that he is "the one" for me. That made him cry… His eyes brimmed with tears, and he told me that he knew he wasn’t going to be around to take care of me forever, and said that he knew Johnny would take care of me, and he knew that. He kept saying that Johnny is a really, really good guy and he hopes that things work out for us.

The time I went out to Pennsylvania to visit came up in conversation too. My dad said he was absolutely sick to his stomach with worry the entire time I was gone. Of course, I&n

bsp;didn’t go about it the wrong way. I up and left just after my dad went to work and I didn’t call him until I was in Ohio. We talked about that, too. I told him that I had no choice but to do it that way, because I had bought a plane ticked and he refused to let me go. He agreed, and actually said that he was GLAD I did that, because I got Johnny out of it. How sweet is that? I love my dad.

Oh, I told my dad that even though I am moving back to Pennsylvania… If I ever win the lottery, I will buy him a house so he can come retire and live out by me. He seemed happy by this idea and said that he would love that.

When I told Johnny that, he said, "You know… You don’t have to have to win the lottery in order to buy your dad a house. When we have land, we can build him a house on it next to our’s."

Seriously, guys, if that isn’t love… I don’t know what love is.