Band-Aids

 I always try to swallow my words and watch what I say, like chewing thoughts over before speaking them, but I realized there’s no real point in censoring yourself. You’re going to let out how you feel regardless, whether it be through body language, indirect comments, of how you handle yourself; just let the words flow freely, and even though it may cause a mess for a little while, it’s easier to clean up than drawing the whole process out. Actually, it’s exactly like ripping off a band-aid in another sense; the quicker the better.

 
I realized, tonight, what has gotten me so numb to the world around me. Yes, partially it was because I wasn’t allowing myself to feel anything. More specifically, though, I wasn’t allowing myself to feel because I didn’t want to face what lies ahead. Johnny and I do not live together, and we haven’t since I moved back to Pennsylvania. That’s been one major stressor in my life since, well,  May, but tonight I finally just let it all loose. I told Johnny everything that had been bothering me. Even though it had been through text, which was unintentional, it had definitely lifted a lot off my chest. I think I may be able to breathe a little better.
 
Well, I’m tired. Allowing yourself emotion can be exhausting…