Under Cold Autumn Sun

However you say it
It feels the same
Same look, same taste
Same hurt, same pain

I looked for you as I stood there
Paying my respects
Somewhere in my soul
But there were no prospects

For this peace that passes all understanding
I felt only cold in the autumn air
The chill in my bones not from the wind
As I prayed that little prayer

So many markers of places
Where so many ones I knew rest
Brick and granite and marble
To replace the warm flesh

I don’t want to feel this any more
It aches the bones and stings the eyes
Beyond description of anguish I stand
Screaming to people deaf of my cries

I am the cursed and bereft
You are among the most blessed
And this is beyond emptiness I feel
In this place where your bodies rest

In time, they say, these wounds will heal
But the scars they remain fresh
They mark my soul, my mind, my heart
Even when they don’t cross the flesh

So as I bid this not-so-last goodbye
I wait for the day of my own blessing
When I wave this place away forevermore
And reach the final end of my questing

For things of which all men may dream
And hope for and plan
As they lay the body to the earth
And my spirit returns to His hand

Adieu and farewell those I loved
When the day comes, know I count myself among the fortunate
Who felt love in this place where abounds
Misfortunes, cruelty and more than fair shares of hate

I was among the cherished few
Who knew the friendships that are beyond the bounds
Of death and eternity and pain
Beyond these stone-filled burial grounds

I was one (I hope you know) who returned
In my own odd little ways
What I felt was given to me
In my short earth-bound days

God bless and keep you in His mercies
When the day finally does come
And I join those who left me here
Under the cold autumn sun

JannyTree

November 6, 2011

This is so beautiful Rayne!! I am crying!! Oh my dear, I loved this and I wish I could give you hugs and more hugs! Ryn, I’m so glad Beth came here! She read my poem in my blog and she loved it and asked for more. I showed to her some of my other poems and she loved them as well. But I feel that I am nothing. You, instead, you’re a real poet. You feel everything so deeply. So I thought about

…telling to her to visit your diary, because she’s so sensible, I knew she’d like your work! You know, Beth is an amazing girl, I admire and like her a lot 🙂 She’s an honest and strong woman. She’s only 18, but she’s so wise and caring 🙂 she has done a lot! Please, have a beautiful Sunday <3

Questionablegirl

I wish I could write this beautifully. 🙂

I can totally identify. Sorry for my last note. :-/

Bethany Alice

ryn: You’re very welcome. 🙂 You certainly have a way with words, Sofia was right. 🙂

RYN- Things have just felt weird between us. But I suppose this is the new normal as far as we are concerned. =

And…. I want to have things back the way they were… as close as they CAN be… not to sound crazy, clingy, desperate, or weird… but I kinda NEED that. This weird relationship we’ve had since you came back? It’s not me. It’s not you. It’s not us. I have no idea what’s going through your mind right now… and I just remembered a line from one of your early emails that I found disheartening… That “you don’t know how much of your life you should share with me”…. So maybe this has all been a waste of time. Maybe not. I hope not. I want things back the way they were. The question is how you feel about it….

Journeyman

November 8, 2011

Nice!!

Phoebe is Dreaming

Hope you are well.

Ryn: I’m alive. I forgot she was on, so I only caught the last 45 minutes.

Ryn: That is the part I saw as it was toward the end of the episode. Yes I have plans for Thanksgiving. Many, in fact. I hate the holidays. I usually have a minimum of 5 different places to go – each of which I want to stay forever but cannot, each of which lay on guilt trips that I have to leave early/come late.