what an awful day.

soimpossible531 (11:46:22 PM): wow today was crappy
soimpossible531 (11:46:33 PM): ok so it wasnt that bad.  i was just in an AWFUL mood
soimpossible531 (11:47:04 PM): first of all, last night, i was on the computer, talking to some friends, and my mom was flipping out at me because she wanted me to go to bed and stop the typing.  apparently she can’t watch tv and listen to the typing.  it drives her crazy.
soimpossible531 (11:47:16 PM): but the thing is, i was mid conversation with katie who i havent talked to for a week
soy kelmo (11:47:46 PM): yeah
soimpossible531 (11:48:07 PM): and it was important to me.  right now i’m in the middle of something of a heartbreak, not to mention all this stuff with my grandma, and it all puts me on edge.   i feel like i’m going to explode into yelling or crying fits at any second.  it might have been being selfish at the time, but talking to katie helps.
soimpossible531 (11:49:08 PM): so she’s flipping out at me and my dad is yelling at me to get off, and i’m like FINE and i’m trying to say my goodnights to the 3 people i’m talking to, and my dad, who has been drinking and i can tell, comes over and TURNS OFF THE FUCKING COMPUTER SCREEN.
soimpossible531 (11:49:13 PM): i was pist
soimpossible531 (11:49:22 PM): i was like. omfg you have got to be kidding me
soy kelmo (11:49:52 PM): I hate that
soimpossible531 (11:50:54 PM): so i turn it back on just so that i can click the “log off” button, and he’s yelling at me, and he comes over really fast to  turn it off again all angry and shit and he is acting like this i know because of the alcohol, and so by then i’m done because it only takes one second to do it, and i am walking out the door and i yell at him “i hate it when you drink!”  and go to bed
soy kelmo (11:51:15 PM): that is unfortunate
soimpossible531 (11:51:16 PM): and then i cry in mac’s room (where i’m sleeping until i get my room back) and go to sleep
soimpossible531 (11:51:26 PM): and i was seething
soimpossible531 (11:51:30 PM): i was so angry at him
soy kelmo (11:51:39 PM): what is wrong with your room?
soimpossible531 (11:51:54 PM): it flooded again when i was at school so i dont have carpet
soimpossible531 (11:52:27 PM): because my parents were “too busy” to get more in the 2  months between when it flooded and when i came home
soimpossible531 (11:52:29 PM): whatever
soimpossible531 (11:52:53 PM): anyway, so i got up this morning, knowing that my parents would be wanting to talk to me, and i SO didnt want to talk to them
soy kelmo (11:52:53 PM): wtf
soy kelmo (11:53:01 PM): I never knew it flooded in the first place
soimpossible531 (11:53:04 PM): haha yeah
soimpossible531 (11:53:08 PM): twice
soy kelmo (11:53:14 PM): well I realize that now ha
soimpossible531 (11:53:18 PM): there’s a crappy busted pipe in the wall
soimpossible531 (11:53:23 PM): well 3 times counting this one
soy kelmo (11:53:26 PM): oh
soy kelmo (11:53:27 PM): well
soy kelmo (11:53:28 PM): in any event
soy kelmo (11:53:31 PM): I am sorry it was flooded
soimpossible531 (11:53:58 PM): it’s really irrelevant except for the fact that i dont have my room and that just adds to the awful state of my mind right now
soy kelmo (11:54:24 PM): yeah
soimpossible531 (11:54:25 PM): as i was saying, my mom wakes me up, and is like “your father wants to talk to you,” and i know that they talked last night and my mom is on my side.  she’s also upset with him for drinking.
soimpossible531 (11:54:36 PM): and i’m like.   damn it i dont want to talk to him
soimpossible531 (11:54:40 PM): but i didnt say that
soy kelmo (11:54:43 PM): yeah
soimpossible531 (11:54:44 PM): i just nodded
soimpossible531 (11:55:12 PM): and so i go to talk to him, and he’s like, i’m sorry i yelled at you, etc.  and i shouldnt have, etc
soimpossible531 (11:55:15 PM): and i’m like fine
soimpossible531 (11:55:19 PM): but i’m still really angry.
soy kelmo (11:55:24 PM): yeah
soimpossible531 (11:55:28 PM): because its not that he yelled, its that he was drinking, and therefore yelled.
soy kelmo (11:55:45 PM): yeah
soimpossible531 (11:56:01 PM): he’s an alcoholic, he’s not supposed to do that, and i hate it how he acts when he drinks.  he doesn’t do it often, and i know it’s because of all the stress my family has been going through with my grandma.  but i hate it.  he’s different, and i can tell.  i know he doesnt think i can tell, but i can tell
soy kelmo (11:56:28 PM): yeah
soimpossible531 (11:56:38 PM): and so i’m like, fine.  and he’s like talk to me.  and i’m like what is there to say?  i hate it when you drink.  it makes me angry.  you’re different and i dont like it.
soimpossible531 (11:56:48 PM): and he’s like i’m sorry.  i’ll keep that in mind.
soimpossible531 (11:56:52 PM): i’m still mad
soimpossible531 (11:56:58 PM): we didnt really work it out
soy kelmo (11:57:11 PM): keep it in mind
soy kelmo (11:57:13 PM): excellent
soy kelmo (11:57:15 PM): *rolls eyes*
soimpossible531 (11:57:17 PM): yeah
soimpossible531 (11:57:32 PM): so then he’s like, lets go order your carpet
soimpossible531 (11:57:42 PM): and i’m like.  i so dont want to even look at you right now
soimpossible531 (11:57:49 PM): i didnt say that though
soy kelmo (11:58:07 PM): haha
soy kelmo (11:58:07 PM): yeah
soimpossible531 (11:58:24 PM): but he went to do some work on the town house while i ate/showered/dressed/cried a whole lot whilst listening to my emo dashboard music that never helps the situation
soimpossible531 (11:58:43 PM): and my mom came and talked to me, and she wants me to talk to him some more, and i really dont want to
soy kelmo (11:58:44 PM): yeah
soimpossible531 (11:59:11 PM): and i was talking to her and she’s like i know theres something else upsetting you, what is it
soimpossible531 (11:59:41 PM): and i’m like, DUH “i already told you.  it’s chris.  i’m not going to get over him in one (fucking) day.”
soy kelmo (11:59:54 PM): yeah
soimpossible531 (12:00:02 AM): and she’s all “i know.  it’s hard.  (hugs)”
soimpossible531 (12:00:30 AM): so thats when she left, after being a good mom (not sarcasm), and i worked on cleaning my room and listening to dashboard on repeat while crying into my potato pancakes.
soy kelmo (12:01:07 AM): LOL
soy kelmo (12:01:09 AM): POTATO PANCAKES
soy kelmo (12:01:10 AM): ok
soy kelmo (12:01:10 AM): yes
soimpossible531 (12:01:51 AM): so then dad and i went and ordered carpet which was good because it got my mind off of him for awhile, and then i came home and gennie and i went to see troy with colleen.  only one problem:  my sister is a controlling hitler of a bitch sometimes
soy kelmo (12:03:42 AM): hitler of a bitch
soy kelmo (12:03:43 AM): excellent
soimpossible531 (12:03:43 AM): so we’re getting ready to leave, and i’m like “can i drive home?” and she says “no.” and i say “why not”  and she says “because i’m older and i’m driving.” and i say “i don’t care.  i want to drive.  you drive there, i drive back.  its fair.”  and she’s all no dice because i am a contolling bitchy hitler sister.  “if you don’t like it, you can just stay home. why are you being such a brat to me all the time?” 
soimpossible531 (12:03:55 AM): note that by this time we are yelling
soy kelmo (12:04:39 AM): nice
soimpossible531 (12:04:41 AM): and by this point, we are driving and almost to colleens house, and i say, “i’m not being a brat and i don’t want to stay home because i want to see this movie”  and shes’  like “you can see it later with dad.  i shouldnt have invited you”
soy kelmo (12:04:42 AM): I can picture it
soimpossible531 (12:06:28 AM): and i’m like “god.  maybe i will stay home.”  we drive onto colleens street, and there are tears in my eyes because i can’t stand one more thing today, and i know that she notices them, and says nothing and continues to be hitler on bitch mode.  colleen comes out of her house, i wipe my tears off my face, and pretend to be all happy as colleen gets into the car.
soy kelmo (12:07:13 AM): yeah
soimpossible531 (12:08:16 AM): we go watch the movie, we come back, i try to get online but see that my mother is watching tv, so i tiptoe around until she is through so i can get on here and vent.  i am begining to realize how dependent i have become on my internet/od/lj.  i don’t know how i would stay sane without them due to my currently suffocating family.