tired

I haven’t written in awhile… I think it’s because I feel so… blah.  This place is changing me.  I don’t feel like me anymore.  I feel like I’m pretending.  I don’t really even know what it is that I am pretending to be.  I need home.  I’m sick of asshole boys.  I’m sick of class.  I’m sick of dealing with the damn registrar.  And I’m sick of calling PSU every 2 hours to get my damn credit.  I’m sick of people who don’t give a damn.  I’m tired of wasting my time.  I’m sick of fucking routine.  Everyday feels the same as the one before, only with more stress, and now I’m sick.  I’m tired of it.

I need a dose of home.

your hand on his arm
the hay stack charm around your neck
strung out and thin
calling some friend trying to cash some check
he’s acting dumb
that’s what you’ve come to expect
needle in the hay
needle in the hay
needle in the hay
needle in the hay
he’s wearing your clothes
head down to toes a reaction to you
you say you know what he did
but you idiot kid
you don’t have a clue
sometimes they just get caught in the eye
you’re pulling him through
needle in the hay
needle in the hay
needle in the hay
needle in the hay
now on the bus
nearly touching this dirty retreat
falling out 6th and powell a dead sweat in my teeth
gonna walk walk walk
four more blocks plus one in my break
down downstairs to the man
he’s gonna make it all ok
i can’t beat myself
i can’t beat myself
and i don’t want to talk
i’m taking the cure so i can be quiet
whenever i want
so leave me alone
you ought to be proud that i’m getting good marks
needle in the hay
needle in the hay
needle in the hay
needle in the hay

eliot smith
(no relation)