self improvement

I am at the close of day 2 of me and Katie’s week long self-improvement zine project.  We set goals for ourselves for each day of the week around a daily theme, as well as additional week long goals thrown into the mix.  Here is the rough schedule:

Sunday: Spiritual Reflection
Monday: Future Mapping/focused exploration (this was today)
Tuesday: Nutritional Health and awareness
Wednesday: Social/Political Action
Thursday: Artistic Expression
Friday: Study/Academic pursuit
Saturday: Reflection, goals for the future

Also, I have extra goals of daily meditation, daily study of Japanese (language), and no TV for the whole week.

I have to say, I didn’t get off to the best start on Sunday.  I had some friends visit me from Korea on Saturday night, which resulted in an all-nighter, and very little sleep.  However, I did pull it together the next day, and praciticed some guided meditation, listened to a Dharma talk, and also had some reflection and conversation with Katie.  It also rained really hard all day, so it is unlikely that I would have made it to a temple as I had originally planned, even if I had a good night’s sleep the night before.  It felt good though, to sit quietly and just be.  I hope that this practice will stick for the week, and beyond.  I studied some Japanese too, but only for a short time using my Hirigana app that is helping me learn to read.  But hey!  It’s better than my usual amount of daily studying: zero.

Today, I started off with a good breakfast, and some Skype calls with my parents and Hoopie, which were good, and a pretty usual part of my daily life.  It did take some time out of my morning though.  I then listened to another Dharma talk and guided meditation, making a point of doing nothing else at the same time–something I often default to when listening to talks.  I’m aware the multitasking while listening to a talk which is designed to help foster presence and mindfulness is pretty counterproductive and a little ridiculous, but it’s really hard to make myself sit still and just listen.  So I really tried.  It was hard, but I did it, mostly.  I used my spare room, which I had thought I would dedicate as a meditation space from before I even arrived here.  It worked well.  I must admit, I got up to pee halfway through, but then returned to the space and maintained.  

After my meditation, I showered and got all ready for my day, then sat down at my desk with my computer and my goal for the day: focused future mapping/exploration.  I began with my City Year Alumni newsletter and the idea that I most likely would like to go into some long term service after this year.  Ultimately, I didn’t solve the question, but I got some good leads.  I looked into Maryknoll again, a program I began and then later stopped my application process for a few years ago because my life plan at the time changed.  They are a really cool organization, and one of the huge benefits of working with them it that they have an very reputable language school that the volunteers must attend before beginning their service.  I know that a secondary goal of my long term volunteering is definitely learning Spanish, so there’s that.  I also spent some time looking at the Peace corps and The United Nations Volunteers.  Both of which have their own appeal, but a huge wild card in that volunteers generally don’t decide where their placements will be, which could ultimately kill my whole goal of learning Spanish while volunteering.  I don’t think I’m willing to compromise on that one.  We will see.

What came out of today wasn’t really an answer as to what my future will hold, but it did get me back in the mindset of exploration.  It helped me to get back into the whole process of research, exploration, and application which is required when finding a job or looking to what the next stage of life is going to be.  I know this is something that takes a lot of time and thought, and should not be conquered in one day.  It’s also very time consuming and the progress is very slow-going.  I think today helped me to remember that I need to work at this process regularly, chipping away at it little by little.  I need to also open my heart to help discern what will be a good next step for me, and try hard to listen to what the universe might be trying to tell me about what is next for me.  The meditation can only help that process as well. 

I feel good about this.  And having not watched TV at all for 2.5 days is good.  I can’t say I haven’t thought about it, but I’m staying strong.  I’m not going to buckle to it. 

I’m going to do a little studying before heading off to bed.  I want to go to sleep early, but I want to make good on my daily goal of studying Japanese, too.  I did a little bit more today on my Hirirgana, but not enough to feel like it counts.  Wish me luck. 

p.s. I did a tarot reading today, too, about a matter that’s really messing with my emotions as of late.  It was really helpful.  I think of tarot as a meaningful spiritual exercise, so it’s connected to my daily meditation and spiritual practice goal, too!