i love my dad a lot

i just got off the phone with my dad.  we talked about a lot of things.  he’s really worried about his mom, and i am too.  i love him so much and it hurts my heart to see him on the brink of tears.  that’s something i have only seen once before in my life, and i didn’t want to have to see it ever again.  but that’s life. 

we talked about how my room flooded last night, and how he fixed the pipe and tore out the carpet, because my dad is amazingly handy and can do everything.  he told me about how he passed his contracting license test with a 79 out of 80, which is the highest score the proctor can ever remember seeing.  i felt proud.  he’s starting his own company, and all he has left to do is get the insurance.  “terry’s handyman”  is the name i think.  he’s retired, and though he could just goof off for the rest of his life, he isn’t going to.  not all the time at least.  he’s doing something he really loves, and doing it well. 

we talked about school, about my psychology class, and about my paper that i earned a 34.5 of 35 on.  he told me i am doing a good job and that he’s proud of me.  i sometimes forget how i find nothing more gratifying than pleasing my parents.  no matter what i do in life, i know they will always love me and be proud of me, but in certain moments of accomplishment, my desire to make them proud becomes realized again.  it makes me want to always make good decisions, and it makes me wonder why i would ever do anything to the contrary.  i am so lucky to have my parents.  they are amazing.

when i began to thank him for everything, he immediately remembered the card i sent.  i could hear the gratitude and love in his voice when he said, “i really appreciated your card.  it meant a lot. …it was beautiful.  thank you.”  it was the tone of his voice that made me come near to tears again.  it felt like he knew, if even for a moment, just how much i love him, just how grateful i am for everything he does.  that’s the one thing i want my parents to know more than anything else.  that’s something i feel like i will never be able to express to my parents, but to hear that in his voice, i almost felt i did.  what else is there to say.