hard

i am feeling so challenged!

i know that it is good, but it is hard.

it’s so much easier to push the things i know about myself under a rug somewhere, shrug them off, or explain them away. it feels that so much of me is in opposition to the change i know i must become, if i truly want the things i claim to.

in the moment, i feel i almost always use the “i’ll do it later” card. i’ll change it later, i’ll fix it later, i’ll address it later, i’ll acknowledge it later, i’ll become it later. i know better than that. and have for quite a long time.

it’s time i started following through.