2 entries in one day

That is something that has not happened in such a long time.   I meant to write about this in the last entry but my mind was focused only on my grandparents.

I decided I have to stop telling myself to get back on track. That I actually have to do it.  I hate the weight I’ve gained and as much as I have tried to “love myself” where I am at, I just cant do it.  I envy the women who are my size and even bigger who have enough confidence to wear stuff that shows their curves.  I just can’t do it.    I’m just feeling semi-ok getting into a bathing suit in public.  I had to get a swimdress that covers more of me in order to do just that.

What’s hard for me is right now I am very limited in exercise.  I can walk.  I can’t do hard core cardio because of my hip.   I need to get through the fall and the end of the year before I call my ortho.  If I have surgery in the beginning of the year my “out of pocket” will max out ($1,000.00 and I have no deductible so that is it) and I wont have to worry about physical therapy co-pays after surgery.

So last week I decided to just start.. again..for the millionth time.  I always tell myself Ill start again Monday. This time I didn’t. I started the very next day, Friday.  I am playing around with intermittent fasting just to get me going and making better choices.  Trust me when I say I research the heck out of these things and I would never do anything that wasn’t good for you.   I have a three week plan all mapped out and each week is different.

I managed to stay on track over the weekend, which is always the hardest for me.

Trying to find easy things to stay active.  The local pool might be my new home, which I am sure Noah won’t mind.  Its just way too hot to go to the gym.   Thought about going to the park to play catch tonight but the heat index is crazy, so that might be a no.

Well, its almost quitting time here.

Have a blessed night everyone!