Vacancies in the English Voodoo

George Bernard Shaw once observed that Patriotism is the conviction that your country is superior to all other countries because you were born in it. Of course, he was given to saying things like that, usually at inordinate length in very dull plays. He had an odd beard, and history has shown that men with such beards are not to be trusted, with the possible exception of Father Christmas, but even he has a history of breaking and entering. Also, Shaw was Irish, which just goes to show.

Funny old thing, really. Gordon Brown, currently either Chancellor of the Exchequer or Prime Minister-in-waiting depending on who you ask, has recently announced a desire to make Britain more patriotic. Apparently,  he’s become impressed with the American attitude towards the idea, and has announced that he wants to create a sort of British equivalent of the Fourth of July, enabling us to celebrate all things of a British bent. You know, like the Queen, whippet racing, black pudding, and flagellance. Brown has also stated, to go with this, that we should reclaim the British flag from the neo-nazis, the British members of which have been using the Union Jack as a symbol for quite some time now. This also just goes to show.

It’s perhaps telling that Uncle Gordon even has a date in mind – November 11th, known to the yanks as Veterans’ Day, but known here as Rememberance Day, dedicated to the memory of those who have died in wars throughout history, particularly the two world wars. To some, this may seem just a tiny bit inappropriate, but it’s actually in good keeping with noble British traditions. We can make a celebration of Britishness by also remembering the times we’ve trounced Johnny Foreigner in fair combat.

Lovely.

Brown says "In any survey our most popular institutions range from the monarchy to the army to the NHS. But think: what is our Fourth of July? What is our Independence Day? Where is our declaration of rights? What is our equivalent of a flag in every garden? Perhaps Remembrance Day and Remembrance Sunday are the nearest we have come to a British day – unifying, commemorative, dignified and an expression of British ideas of standing firm for the world in the name of liberty."

Here we go again. It’s hardly surprising, given stuff like this, that the current Government is sometimes accused of trying to bring British politics too close to American. I do not know why they would wish to do this. Britain has a totally different attitude to many things than the US – for one thing, the really traditional attitude towards patriotism, as espoused by good old thoroughly patriotic types like Kipling, that we know we’re the best country in the world, and don’t need to make a huge fuss about it like all those silly chaps in other countries with their flag-saluting every morning and whatnot. After all, imitating America has to be the best way of celebrating the British way of life, right?

As a minor aside, Brown’s speech was made to a meeting of the Fabian Society, a Socialist organisation. The Fabian Society, of all things! I didn’t even know they were still around, and quite what they’re doing having speeches by New Labour is even more puzzling. Tony Blair has even explicitly staed that Labour is not a socialist party any more. Obviously the Fabians have gone the same way. Pity really. Nobody’s ever really explained why we need two separate Conservative parties, but still.

Back on topic, maybe it’s just me, but it could just possibly be the case that a better way to celebrate the National Health Service would be for the Government to put the much-needed money into it and actually get it working properly, something like they promised back in the 1997 election but somehow haven’t quite got round to yet. Likewise, a way to celebrate the Army and raise its popularity might be to stop blindly followng the Americans into every petty little conflict they feel the need to blow up a lot of people for. Maybe, just maybe.

Oh well. I’m sure having a flag in your garden and shouting "Hurray!" every November will be even better.