muddy waters

so it’s sunday night and i’m at work. i’m a little bit bummed because i’m sleepy and i forgot to take my pills the last couple of days. it’s definitely a habit that’s well ingrained in my lifestyle but when i go on a string of night shifts my whole world becomes a bit skewed and i forget even the most simple things. so i’ve been meaning to write for a few days because i’ve had something on my mind. and although this is directed at one person in particular, it doesn’t hurt to put it out there for all to read because that’s kind of the point of having a place to vent, and i always appreciate feedback.

i’ve recently started dating someone and i really couldn’t be happier, like i haven’t felt this excited about another individual in a while and while i usually keep my guard up i’m finding myself taking a chance on this guy and these circumstances and trying not to be as uptight as i usually am. that being said, i’m still the same kirsten as always, especially when it comes to my alone time. i don’t have a lot of free time but when i do, it’s not like i devote all of it to the new addition in my life. after a long day or night at work, if i wanna sleep, i’ll sleep. new boy understands and although it’s a weird schedule and he wants to see me often, life doesn’t always work out that way. so there’s another OD member who i used to talk to often via text. usually it was just a "goodnight, sleep tight" around 2am, but sometimes it was more back and forth, updates on life and work. sometimes we didn’t talk for a few days but that’s understandable considering the amount we both work.  i truly enjoyed this connection, however brief. seeing this new guy hasn’t changed me, nor taken over any of my personal relationships… and i’m saddened and very slightly offended that my long-distance text buddy thinks that just because i’ve got a new man, i’d cut him out. sometimes life gets in the way but i just wanted to put that out there…. if you text me at 3am and i don’t respond, it’s probably not because i’m laying in bed with a man…. most likely i am fast asleep savoring a night off or perhaps i’m at work… in any case – i haven’t forgotten about you and in no way does getting a bf mean i can’t continue talking to you .. if you still want to talk to me.