happy new year :)

my new years resolution is to write more which i alllwaaaaayyyys say but this time, i mean it.

so to catch up since the last time i wrote….

thank you to the noters who shared the same insight – it’s a hard concept for us chicks to accept… "he’s just not that into you"  but it’s been a few weeks and i’ve come to terms with it. here’s what happened:

so jd and i hadn’t talked in a while but he invited me over to his friend’s house after i got off work, and i was pretty excited to see him. lauren drove me over after work because it was pouring rain. since his friend lived in a basement apt there was a shared door which was often locked. no problem, i usually just texted jd and he’d come up and let me in. so the door was locked and i texted jd. "hey the door’s locked come let me in" no answer "it’s raining and i’m getting wet, come get me" no answer. i was pissed but maybe he was in the bathroom or something so i waited a moment. then i called, no answer. i left a voicemail "i’m soaking wet, i will wait one more minute for you and then i’m leaving". a couple minutes passed and he didn’t come out so i started to walk to the closest bus stop.. which wasn’t really that close because i was in the middle of the burbs. and once i got there i had to wait another 15 minutes for the bus. i got on the first one that came (not my usual bus) which took me to the university where i waited outside for another tenish mins. stupidly i hadn’t worn a coat and it was november and a really cold rain. i. was. pissed. i texted him when i finally got on the bus back home. basically i said that we were done, i wasn’t gonna put up with his crap anymore and that i deserved better. he texted me back saying he was asleep and sorry and that he wanted me to come back. he didn’t try to call, he just begged me to call him so we could "talk". i didn’t obvs, i just said that if he hadn’t bailed on me so many times before, then this would be a forgivable, honest mistake, but since he was always soooooo unreliable (set a fucking alarm if you invite your gf over and think you might fall asleep… or at least make sure the door is unlocked) this was the last straw and i was done. other than pleading with me to come back,  he didn’t txt much else and didn’t bother calling. so that was that and i was a little bit sad, but moreso that he wasn’t trying to get me back and thinking maybe i was just easy to let go of. a week passed and i got a phone call, not having caller id i just picked it up and answered hello in my usual cheery tone. it was jd! omg… he launched into this self depricating apology about how i deserve better and he was a huge asshole etc etc. i was super shocked… i was silent. then he asked if he could see me sometime within the next couple of days before he went back to his parents’s home for a week or so. he sounded so scared and his voice was all shaky. i said he could come by work the next day before he left if he wanted to, and he said he missed me. next day, he was a no-show and i know i really shouldn’t have been surprised, but i was! this was typical jd as i knew him but being naive i totally believed that he’d come see me. in any case, the situation ended well, i felt. he apologized, and i accepted. i guess he really wasn’t that into me… not enough to come back or put any effort into a relaionship. i haven’t run into him since, thankfully, and whenever i see his friends, they’re always talkative and nice, so that’s good.

work leading up to christmas was crazy busy – every year i feel it gets worse and worse. people become even more irritating and rude than normal and i could write a book about working in customer service. but not now, because then i’ll start recalling all this rage and anxiety and that’s no good. christmas at home was fun, sort and sweet. new years was acceptable… i got fairly drunk but i didn’t run into anyone i knew and the music at the bar wasn’t very good so we didn’t dance. cor and i had fun but i suppose it could have been better. it could have been worse too so i should be thankful that i didn’t get sick or vommed on or stalked or anything 😉 i pretty much just slept all day today so i’m grateful for a day of rest. back to work tomorrow.

peace