for fog’s sake..

Do you, after about a year of struggle in your own relationship – with too many lows, very few highs, and a large number of glass-half-full (or empty, take your pick) – celebrate your anniversary?  What does it mean to support your partner?

these are two questions posed by another canadian whose diary i try to keep up with .. i knew that my long winded answer would be too long for a comment so i decided to post it as an entry. a few facts about me to put my answer into context:

1. i am currently single

2. my longest relationship was 2 years and ended 2 years ago

3. despite not being involved in an intimate, long-term relationship in the recent past, i still feel that i’m fairly emotionally in-tune and that my most serious relationship went a lot further in 2 years than a lot of ppls’ (i know) do in 2..3.. or even 4 years.

so yah, you can take my answer with a grain of salt if you wish 🙂

i had celebrated 2 anniversaries with my ex, the first during great times, and then last during not so promising times (shortly before we broke up). that being said, i’m happy we did it both times, because in good times or bad, reminding ourselves of the time and energy we had devoted to each other in the time span of our relationship helped to heal whatever problems we had at the time. unless you truly see no future or hope with your partner, celebrate your anniversary in whatever way you see fit. personally i was never a big fan of extravagence or anything over-the-top. buuut…i wasn’t immune to the charm of a bouquet… so yah. if there is even just the slightest glimmer of happiness left, celebrating the time you have both devoted to each other could be a positive way to turn your relationship around….

in my opinion, my ex and i were both very "supportive" of each other in many facets of our lives. these are a few examples and they seem really basic but none-the-less, this is how i practiced and experienced support:

– when i had an art show, he would bring his friends to come by and he always always purchased something (just little) from me, even though he knew i would gladly give him anything he wanted for free 🙂

– when he had home wrestling tournaments, i went whenever i could, sat with his friends and family and cheered my heart out.

– when he had issues with his room-mates, friends or family, he felt he could share with me, and i provided an open ear and advice, if i had any. like-wise, he was always there to listen to me and my (frivolous) problems. i loved how he wanted to hear what was going on inside my head.. he always used to say "what’s wrong? talk to me, baby." <- that sounds somewhat patronizing or sickeningly sweet, but it meant a lot to me.

– when he was cutting weight for a tournament and didn’t eat or drink for the last 24 hours, i’d refrain from eating or drinking around him so as not to tempt him or appear as though i was rubbing it in his face..

just a few things that came to mind…