You got it bad

Brunk’s exact words to me last night, “You got it bad,” and damn it how I hate it when he is right. I think I need to have parts of my brain erased. I can’t get Shane out of my head. He’s all I ever think of anymore. The whole time I was with John I thought about Shane. Shane Shane Shane….

So here I am listening to Usher’s You got it bad and just thinking about how much I want Shane, even though I know that 1. he is no good for me and 2. he is getting married in July. But knowing that, it doesn’t stop me from chasing after him, because as Eddie and Denny say he is not married yet. But there is also the fact that he is a player and I really don’t want to date that kind of guy again.

No matter who I am with I think about Shane, “You got it bad when y ou’re out with someone and you keep on thinking bout somebody else.” That is me. I went through Tom, TJ, and John, and none of them satisfied me cause I wanted Shane. Ughhhhhhhhhhh!!!!! I am making myself sick over this. At work I constantly stop what I am doing to look out the window to see if the car driving by is the Carnegie Cop car. Brunk has permission to slap the crap out of me everytime he sees me looking. I am trying to stop obsessing over him. Okay obsessing is putting it lightly because as Brunk and Mikey point out I have driven by his house twice therefore I am stalking him. The first time though was cause Jess and I wanted to get his number so we could call him to see if he wanted to go out with us sometime. We had two numbers that could have been his so we drove by both houses to see which one had his car and van parked in front of it. So we found out his house so we knew which phone number was his. The second time I drove by his house was when I was working at the Rocks store and on the way home I had to drive by his house. Okay not exactly by it I had to turn down a side street to get there but one more turn and I was back on the main road. I just took a small 2 second detour. So sue me.

But what pisses me off about the whole situation is that he knows that I like him and he uses that to his advantage. For someone who is about to get married he sure does lead me on to believe that he actually likes me. And he did tell Jess that he was single. If he would have told her that he was getting married I never would have even thought about pursuing anything with him. For months I flirted and gave hints that I wanted to go out with him. That just led to me liking him even more because he toyed with me and flirted back and made me think that he liked me back. I don’t know how I could have been so stupid. Heaven forbid that Jenn should ever get a guy that she likes. GRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!

To Be continued at a later date.