The Ones That Got Away

I was doing some computer housekeeping today.  Cleaning up files and deleting and organizing stuff, when I came across some things that Matt wrote me.  God he had such a way with words that everything he said made me fall so hard for him, even though we never even dated.  He reminded me so much of Ryan that it was instant attraction.  I should have known better, but unfortunately when it comes to matters of the heart I’m still so dumb sometimes. 

But how I can I not fall for someone who writes me haiku’s as part of my Christmas present, or who writes me my own personal erotic fiction, or someone who makes every word, every sentence sound like a beautiful work of art. 

 
"Her Voice, Heart and Mind
Her Soul, it does call to me
I need her to Breathe"

"Sorrow when you’re gone
It’s painful when left alone
Heart returns with you"
 
 
 
He never lied to me, never made me any promises.  Deep down I knew from the beginning that it would never happen, but secretly a part of me held on to a tiny shred of belief that it was possible.  And I let that tiny shred get bigger and bigger until it was all I believed.  And then one day it was over.  Just like that.  No warning, no reason, just stopped whatever relationship it was that we had built gone. 

And I realized…it still hurts.  Not just with Matt…all the ones who got away.  Yeah it still hurts.