Oh boy!

The entry title says it all. I am in deep trouble. I never should have went for a ride with Jimmy in the mach 1. Since that day I keep having dreams about him. It’s the same dream over and over again. In my dream we go out for a ride in the mach 1 and then we go get something to eat, after that it is a little bit blurry on what happens, but at the end of the dream he is taking me home and we end up kissing and falling for each other. Then I wake up and I just have this urge to see him. This is sooooo bad.

I have never ever thought anything like this before, but I have been thinking alot about him lately. This is in no way a good thing for alot of different reasons. Number one he is married(there I go with my chasing after married men again) and has 3 kids. Number 2 he is 12 years older than me. He will be 33 this year and I will be 21 in 3 months. And number 3 there would be a whole lot of gossip going around the circle if anyone finds out about this. It’s already bad enough that I am friends with him. No one else in the group likes him. They all find him annoying just because he actually does his job and he makes the other guys look bad.

I don’t know where these dreams are even coming from. I have never even thought about him in that way. He is a friend. He fixes my computer, talks to me about hockey, sends messages to Shane over the computer telling him to come see me, and he took me for a ride in his mustang one time. Oh god what the hell am I thinking? Am I a freaking moron? I need to get these thoughts out of my head. There is no way that I would ever even consider having any kind of relationship with him and I know he feels the same way. He’s married and has kids for crying out loud. I need shock treatment or something to get these thoughts out of my head. Help!