New Job and some other stuff too

So I finally found a new job.  Assistant Manager/Manager in Training at Walgreens.  The pay and benefits are awesome and their is alot of opportunity for advancement.  This is definitely a good opportunity for me.  I will actually be making decent money.  This means that I will have a new vehicle in a month or so and that within 6 months I should be able to get my own place and still be able to put money away into savings.  YAY!!  I am definitely excited about this job.  I start next week and I am definitely looking forward to going back to work.  I have been out of a job for too long now.

Michael and I are also doing really well.  Things are so great between us and I couldn’t be happier.  He told me that he has changed his mind about moving to Kentucky…at least for now.  He is looking to buy a house in this area instead of going back home.  He gave me plenty of reasons why he wants to stay, although not the one I was hoping for.  I was hoping that he would say that I was one of the reasons that he wanted to stay.  But he didn’t.  I think that me and him really need to have a talk about our relationship and where it is going.  We never really talk about our relationship and what we want from it.  He knows how I feel, but he is not the type to open up and say what he is feeling.  Although he is getting much better.  I’ve been able to get him to open up and talk about things.  I just don’t want to push it too fast.  And I gave him a test too…He passed with flying colors.  On Wednesday we met up with Randi at the mall.  She had Jaden with her because I haven’t seen him since before Christmas and I miss my baby boy.  But anyways we were shopping in a "girlie" store as Michael calls it and I was holding Jaden.  I couldn’t hold him and look through the clothing racks at the same time so I handed him to Michael, who has never held a baby or been around children.  He sat on the bench with Jaden and played with him for a good 20 minutes and actually enjoyed it.  He told me later on that he like playing with Jaden and that he was an awesome baby.  So he passed the baby test…he didn’t panic and he wasn’t uncomfortable.  This is a big change from when we first met 2 years ago.  So yes I think this is a good thing. 

Tomorrow hopefully I will be going to Brewski’s to see Broken Stigma play.  Silky and I have been talking about this show for weeks.  I haven’t seen him play since Halloween.  And I got to help write the set list for this show.  I am very excited about that.  We actually had several conversations about his band and he asked me for my thoughts and opinions and actually listened to me.  Besides music we’ve been talking about other things too.  I hang out with him at work whenever I can and to be honest he has really helped me out alot just by listening to me and offering me advice and such.  I really do value our friendship.  My feelings for him have definitely changed in 6 months.  Where before I had a major crush on him and all I could think about was snagging him as a boyfriend, but now honestly I can say that I only want friendship from him.  I realized that the only reason I wanted to date him was because he reminds me so much of Ryan it’s not even funny.  But I can’t replace Ryan…and I shoudn’t try to.  And actually because of Silky I am doing so much better about Ryan.  I finally broke down and and told Silky everything about Ryan and we talked about it and he helped me deal with everything.  I can actually listen to STP Interstate Love Song without crying and tomorrow night will be the real test.  If I can hear Silky perform STP without having a breakdown like last time he played the song, then I think I will be okay.

And I actually managed to read all of Ryan’s journals…every last word…without crying.  His journals are so awesome.  His writing is beautiful, amazing, leaves me speechless.  And even though I know that he loved me, I never realized how intensely and passionate he was about me.  His writing was so emotional…I swear I could feel exactly what he was feeling.  It was also kind of strange to see how he recounted moments that we shared together.  His version of each story was so much different than mine, yet the same.  I don’t know how to explain it.  But I went back and re-read my old journals and tried to match the days together as best as I could…and it was just weird that even though we both experienced that same moment, his thoughts, feelings, and memories were so much different than mine.  And then I kinda had a bright idea(although I will probably never do it).  My thought would that it would be awesome to kinda combined our journals into one volume…kinda like a he said, she said thing.  His writing is so amazing that I feel it should be shared with the world…I feel guilty that I have all these beautiful words and I am keeping them to myself…although he probably wouldn’t want to world to read it.  They are his personal private thoughts and feelings, but I still think it would be a cool idea…I even thought I would call it Love Letters…even though they aren’t really letters, they are journals…but I liked the title.  If my writing was half as good as his I would so definitely do it.  Maybe it would even be a best seller…hahaha…yeah right. 

So now it is time for some pics that I have been meaning to post that I haven’t gotten a chance to.

Me being bored one night…notice I am sporting the Broken Stigma shirt.  BS ROCKS!!

 

Penny, Mary, Ally, Suey, Me and Lisa…all the girls together celebrating Blasphemous Day!!

 

New Years Eve @ Memories…Shaggy, James, Mary, Me and Penny

 

Mary and me at our work Holiday Party…Two sexy bitches!!!

 

Me and Michael after the Holiday party @ Cancun Cantina.  This is the only pic where he didn’t have a goofy look on his face.

 

Mary, Me, and James…Jager Bombs @ Cancun Cantina.  I was really fucked up at this point.  Notice my eyes.  I was shitfaced.  After I did the shot I almost puked.  Ugh!  That was the last time I got drunk.  I promised Silky I wouldn’t get drunk anymore…One or two drinks and that’s it…I am cut off.

So yeah that’s pretty much all that is new with me.  I promise to catch up with all my favs soon.  I miss you guys.<

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