Married Men

Why do I always find myself attracted to married men. Never can I find myself lusting after a man who isn’t married. Last night I spent some time with Brian. He has been coming into work alot later like around 3 instead of 12:30, which means we can spend more time talking, since it is less busy.

When he came in he had the biggest grin on his face. I tried so hard not to smile at him, but when I see him my face lights up. He knows I like him, but he doesn’t let on, and doesn’t treat me any differently. We starting chatting about general stuff. Then I went outside to smoke a cigarette, and he came outside to smoke one too. But the wierd thing is that he wasn’t going to, because he knows I don’t want him too. He said that since I was that he might as well come out and keep me company. He actually said that he didn’t want to smoke in front of me. I told him that I didn’t care I just wasn’t going to sell him any cigarettes, cause I know he is trying to quit.

I asked him if he felt cool cause he smoked. He said no that he knew he was cool regardless. He said he had all the factors of coolness already. He was kinda good looking(that’s a lie he is drop dead gorgeous and he knows it), he made good money, he has a Harley, wife, girlfriend(yes he is married and has a girlfriend on the side, which leaves me to believe that I might have a chance with him), and a baby on the way.

He was telling me how he made this dessert the other night that was really good. Surprise surprise there, he can bake, and cook too. I find myself wanting him more and more, but I know that he is no good for me. I mean he is married and he cheats on his wife, but that doesn’t bother me I want him so bad I don’t mind it if I have to share him with someone else.

We were talking about an incident that happened to him while working that he could have gotten into a lot of trouble for, but he didn’t. I was so worried for a while cause I wasn’t sure what would happen to him, if they investigated the situation. But he said that they found that he was not liable for negligence. He said to me, “Don’t worry about me sweetheart. It’s under control and darling nothing is going to happen to me.” I hate when he calls me sweetheart and darling and any other pet names, cause it makes me think that he’s interested but he’s not. But it makes me feel good too, so I let it go.

Anyways life is suprisingly going good for me. I’m so glad that I moved out on my own, well kinda, I do have a roomie and all, but it’s working out great. Shane has been nice to me. Jess called me and we are talking again. Dave and I finally are getting along now that I moved out and we aren’t constantly getting on each other’s nerves. Work is going great now that Glenn is gone and I work with Mikey and Mike. All I need now is to go back to school(which I should be doing this fall) and everything will be great. Hopefully I will be taking a short vacation soon to go to Maryland and visit my family. Never though that I would be this happy. Life is beautiful(that’s a good movie too, I recommend that everyone see it, even though you have to read subtitles, GO RENT IT NOW DAMMIT!)

see ya bye

Bubbles