I’m beginning to feel alot like a stalker

Well it is 1:50 in the morning and I just got home from work, even though I got off of work at 10pm. I had to stick around and wait for Shane to come in. I work in a convience store and he’s a cop, and everyone knows that cops love convience stores and donut shops.

I am soooooo obsessed over him. I have never acted like this over any guy before and it is driving me crazy. I can remember every conversation I ever had with him word for word. I know that he loves M&M’s, and glazed donuts.(He doesn’t care that he fits the stereotypical cop by eating donuts). He likes chocolate chip cookies. I even baked him some from scratch one night, but I gave them to all the other cops and paramedic’s cause I didn’t want him to think they were just for him. They were. I took a big plastic pumpkin full of candy for all the guys and of course I had M&M’s in there. I just about killed Mikey when he took a bag of M&M’s. I told him they were not for him that they were for my Shane.

I like him so much and I had assumed that he liked me too, but now I am not so sure. Jess, my best friend, asked him if he was single and he said that he was and wanted to know why she wanted to know. She said cause my friend Jenn is interested in you. He told her that he was going to have to come see me then cause he was kinda interested in me too.

One night I was helping out Mikey cause he was injured and my crush happened to come in and I talked to him but barely. I got so tongue tied, which is so unusual for me since I talk too much. He left and about 5 minutes later Eddie, his Sergeant, came in. So of course Mikey told him that I liked Osh Kosh(that’s Shane’s nickname). And Sarge radioed him to come into the store which he did. I had my hair down which I very rarely do, and Osh Kosh said that it was a shame I couldn’t wear my hair down while I was working cause it was so pretty, and I should wear it down more often. I turned about 10 shades of red and said Thanks. Then he asked me when I was working again and I said tomorrow and he said I’ll stop in and see you. Know wouldn’t you think that he liked me based on that. If I’m working he’ll be in 3 or 4 times a nioht. If it is someone else he only stops once maybe twice.

I wait for him to come in every night when he is working regardless if I am working or not. I even have gone as far to find out his phone number and address. I’m glad I know low people in high places. But I can’t call him. I’m too chicken. And I never act that way. I will do or say just about anything. I have a tendency to say what’s on my mind, even though it has gotten me in trouble a few times. Why can’t I just get up the courage to say hey you wanna go out sometime?

I heard through the grapevine that he has a girlfriend. But I asked one of his friends and he said it is not that serious, and they just go out alot but there isn’t any real commitment there. But on the other hand what if it is serious and he just doesn’t know it. I don’t know what’s going on and I am too afraid to find out straight from the source. I don’t know what to do. It is starting to get old hanging out at work all night long when I am not working.

Tonight I almost embarassed myself in front of him. I had actually came home for a few moments when Mikey called and said that Osh Kosh was done there. I needed a reason to go down and it dawned on me that I left my hockey stick down there so I had to go get it real quick. So I came in and got it and he asked me what the stick was for was I going to play hockey. I said no actually it was for my Halloween costume. I’m going as Matthew Barnaby my favorite hockey player even though he is no longer a Pen. And I was trying to act all cool with my hockey stick and took a step backwards and cameabouthisclose to tripping over a rack of maps. I would have felt so swole had I actually tripped and fell. God must love me today.

I am so confused. I have no clue what to do. He knows I like him. Everyone at work knows I like him. Every cop in the 4 surrounding districts knows I like him. I might as well just put up a billboard or an ad in the paper that says I like him. I always had a rule about dating a cop. I swore that I would never do it. But I’d make an exception for him. That is if he is single and if he really does like me. I think he does but I’m not 100% positive. Oh what do I do? I can’t continue to hang out at work night after night or I’ll never get any sleep. Help me someone. Oh well must get off to bed have to get up early to go to a hockey card convention with my boss.

See ya bye

Bubbles

*UPDATE-Trust your instincts…stay away from men in uniforms, especially the police.