Going for 30

Day 1 – Write some basic things about yourself.
Day 2 – 10 likes & dislikes 
Day 3 – The meaning behind your Open Diary name 
Day 4 – Favourite tv show(s)?
Day 5 – Three places you want to visit and why.
Day 6 – What band/musician is most important to you? 
Day 7 – Do you read? Whats your favorite book? 
Day 8 – Pet Peeves.
Day 9 – If you could live off of one food and beverage for the rest of your days, what would they be? 
Day 10 – Post a picture of your desktop.
Day 11 – What is your favorite quote?
Day 12 – Describe a bad habit from your childhood that you still have.
Day 13 – Three confessions of your choice.
Day 14 – Things you want to say to an ex.
Day 15 – Share a moment that stands out as one of the happiest in your life to date.
Day 16 – If the world were to end tomorrow, what would you do with your remaining time on earth? 
Day 17 – Describe your current relationship, or if you are single, talk about it (:
Day 18 – Your day, in great detail.
Day 19 – The best thing to happen to you this week.
Day 20 – Your definition of love.
Day 21 – If you had one million dollars?
Day 22 – A picture of what you wore today.
Day 23 – A letter to someone. Anyone.
Day 24 – Would you rather date someone plain with an amazing personality or someone beautiful with a plain personality?
Day 25 – Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day 26 – How you hope your future will be.
Day 27 – A picture of your handwriting.
Day 28 – Do you wish for anything at 11:11? If so, what do you wish for? 
Day 29 – Picture of yourself.
Day 30 – 5 quirky things about yourself, 5 things you’re afraid of, and 5 indulgences you partake in regularly.

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Day 1: Write some basic things about yourself.
I am 31 years old.  I have brown hair and hazel eyes.  I love coffee, hockey, photograpy, and WoW. I often think about things too much.  I overanalyze.  I’m very pessimistic.  I had a passion for art, music, and writing…none of which I do anymore and all of which I am trying to rectify.  I often randomly burst into song.  I’m addicted to social media and playing games on my phone while I’m supposed to be working.  I am currently suffering from mild depression but am taking strides to work through it. 

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Okay so here goes.  I am attempting to write more often.  This is probably the 100th time that I have said this but I really need an outlet to help me cope with things.  I am going to attempt to do this 30 day challenge as a reminder to write everyday.  I figure once I get back into the habit of things then it will become routine and I won’t forget that I want to write my thoughts down.

I don’t know when I lost the desire to write.  I used to post on here at least once a day sometimes more.  I met several amazing people through here and still talk to them today.  One of those people I actually met IRL and he is the most amazingly awesome friend ever! 

When I started writing on here back in 2001(I think) I was young and stupid.  I thought I knew so much.  Sometimes when I read old entries from those early days I can’t help but shake my head and realize how much I have grown, how much I have learned, how much I have seen and done.  But it also makes me realize how much I have left to learn, and how many things I still have left to do.  Back then I never imagined that this is where I would be now.  I definitely thought I would have a career, house, marriage, kids.  And yet I have none of those things.  Okay strike that I have a career, although not the one I thought I would have.  But honestly I can say despite still wanting those things, I am in a good place in my life for a change.  I love my job even though it is stressful at times.  I love my roommates.  I spend time with my family and friends.  I have been traveling more and even got over my fear of flying.  I should be happy but for some reason I have been depressed for the past 3 months or so.  I don’t know why.  Although honestly I’m thinking that it is from a chemical/hormonal imbalance.

I have been suffering from some female problems over the past 2 years that have left my cycles all out of whack.  The past 2 weeks I felt super depressed that even my boss mentioned to me that he noticed something was up.  Then bam out of nowhere I start my period which I haven’t had in 6 months.  This past week has been the most physically horrible awful week ever.  My body just was so drained and exhausted from it.  I hurt so bad that I was incapacitated and I was taking strong painkillers that would hardly make a dent in the pain.  But I can say that I am feeling much better emotionally since then.  Definitely something to bring up at my next doctors appointment.

45 minutes until Mists of Pandaria launches.  I am so ready for this.  I took off today and tomorrow so I could get some quality play time in, but unfortunately it looks like other things are going to get in the way of my WoW time. 

My friend Lisa called me about 3 months ago and asked me if I would be with her when her and Tim got married(2nd wedding for both, having a short civil ceremony)  So of course I said yes.  She told me that they hadn’t set an exact date but it would be sometime in September.  So she calls me 2 weeks ago to confirm that I would still do it and told me the date…Sept 25th.  I was like FML!!!  Who the hell gets married on a Tuesday…and not just any Tuesday but WoW Expansion Release Tuesday (that’s an official holiday in JennWorld)  So of course I couldn’t tell her I couldn’t make it.  Because if I blew off my friends wedding to play a video game that would mean I have some serious issues.  So instead I took a short nap, got some coffee, and I’m gonna play from launch until I have to leave my house around 7am.  Then I’m gonna go do this wedding thing and come back home and play wow until I have to go meet my sister on Wednesday afternoon to help her with a paper she is writing for school.  Then come back home for more WoW time until around 11pm-12 on Wednesday night at which time I will finally get some sleep before getting up early for work on Thursday morning.  I can’t go to work  without sleep.  I would kill people lol.

Hmmm…let’s see what else…Oh yeah…so I have been talking to this guy Nic.  We actually knew each other awhile ago but haven’t talked in 3 years or so.  And by the miracle of social media we reconnected about a month or so ago and have been texting back and forth ever since.  I will admit that I have always had a small crush on him so when he messaged me I was like a giggly high schooler.  When we used to hang out before we were both dating someone at the time so it was strictly friendship. Sunday after a few minutes of texting he asked me to go get coffee after I got off work.  We went to St. Mary’s Landing had a few cups then talked in the parking lot for 2 hours.  We had a good time.  And like the weirdo that I am I have been overanalyzing every single detail from that encounter.  I need to figure out a way to tell my brain to shut the fuck up.  I still like him.  He makes me laugh.  All day at work today I was a grumpy gus because I was so tired(I stayed out late with coworkers watching movies) and he texted me off and on all day cheering me up and making me roll with laughter.  He made the workday enjoyable.  I also love how he always has to text me goodnight when he goes to bed and good morning when he knows that I am just waking up to go to work.  I love how he remembers those itty bitty tidbits of information from years ago, things that I barely remember myself.  Okay time to stop analyzing.  It is what it is…and I need to just let it be for now. 

Okay…post-it note ready…reminder to write more tomorrow.  Until then…

"And I’ve been a fool and I’ve been blind
I can never leave the past behind
I can see no way, I can see no way
I’m always dragging that horse around"