Depressed

I’m feeling kinda depressed today and I’m not sure why. Plus I have a huge headache that just won’t go away. I’m off from work today and have nothing to do except for laundry which I can’t do until Ashley gets home so she can drive me over my mom’s house. I finally finished getting everything done that I needed to do. Right now I’m starving and as usual there is nothing to eat in this house, because of Rich and Gloria. They are eating hot sausage sandwiches right now, but heaven forbid they should make enough for everybody else. When Ashley or I cook we always make sure there is enough for everybody. Isn’t is common courtesy to do the same thing????? I guess I can’t ask for people to change when they are as stubborn and pigheaded as Rich and Gloria.

I have been thinking alot lately about all the things that are going wrong in my life. My relationships, my friendship with Jess, not seeing my family in almost a year, not going to school, and still working at Crossroads. Moving here was supposed to be the easy way out. I was supposed to go to school, work part time, be a better sister to my brother, and be friends with Jess. So far nothing has turned out the way it was supposed to. I quit school, am working a dead-end job, constantly fight with my brother, and I am definitely nowhere near being friends with Jess. I just wonder how come everything went wrong. Am I just such a terrible person that no one wants to be near me anymore??? Am I that stupid that I have to keep screwing up my life?????????? Why couldn’t things just work out the way they were supposed? Fate is so cruel. But as Lennon once said, “Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans.” And he’s right. Life never goes as planned. It’s always giving you what you least expect, when you least expect it. So maybe I should just not expect anything and I’ll get what I want.