Days 6-9 of 30

~~Day 1 – Write some basic things about yourself.~~
~~Day 2 – 10 likes & dislikes~~
~~Day 3 – The meaning behind your Open Diary name~~
~~Day 4 – Favourite tv show(s)?~~
~~Day 5 – Three places you want to visit and why.~~
Day 6 – What band/musician is most important to you?
Day 7 – Do you read? Whats your favorite book?
Day 8 – Pet Peeves.
Day 9 – If you could live off of one food and beverage for the rest of your days, what would they be?
Day 10 – Post a picture of your desktop.
Day 11 – What is your favorite quote?
Day 12 – Describe a bad habit from your childhood that you still have.
Day 13 – Three confessions of your choice.
Day 14 – Things you want to say to an ex.
Day 15 – Share a moment that stands out as one of the happiest in your life to date.
Day 16 – If the world were to end tomorrow, what would you do with your remaining time on earth?
Day 17 – Describe your current relationship, or if you are single, talk about it (:
Day 18 – Your day, in great detail.
Day 19 – The best thing to happen to you this week.
Day 20 – Your definition of love.
Day 21 – If you had one million dollars?
Day 22 – A picture of what you wore today.
Day 23 – A letter to someone. Anyone.
Day 24 – Would you rather date someone plain with an amazing personality or someone beautiful with a plain personality?
Day 25 – Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day 26 – How you hope your future will be.
Day 27 – A picture of your handwriting.
Day 28 – Do you wish for anything at 11:11? If so, what do you wish for?
Day 29 – Picture of yourself.
Day 30 – 5 quirky things about yourself, 5 things you’re afraid of, and 5 indulgences you partake in regularly.

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Day 6: What Band/Musician is most important to you?
Hmmm…this is a toughie. I can’t really say most important, but I have several that I love for different reasons…Florence + the Machine, Pearl Jam, Pink Floyd, Led Zeppelin, Placebo, Lovage, and Theory of a Deadman

Day 7: Do you read? What’s your favorite book?
I love to read. Favorite books…LOTR Trilogy, Dragonlance Series, and A Song of Ice and Fire series

Day 8: Pet Peeves
Stupid people, people who can’t drive, and the annoying people who call my work asking for showtimes when there is a separate number to call for that but they don’t wanna call it or learn to use fandango.

Day 9: If you could live off one food and beverage for the rest of your life what would they be?
Beverage-Coffee
Food-Lasagna

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I have been super exhausted the past few days when I got home so I haven’t felt like writing. But I have alot of my mind here. Mostly I can’t help calling myself a dumbass. I need to learn to make better life choices. UGH! Why am I so stupid. So Nic and I have been hanging out alot and I still don’t know where this is leading. Maybe I just need to cool my heels and stay in the friendzone. He makes it so hard though. Everything he does brings me out of the darkness of my soul. When he’s not around me or not texting/calling me I feel the emptiness. But as soon as I get that text or meet up with him somewhere I feel happy and alive. We got into a small disagreement yesterday afternoon. It doesn’t matter what it’s about. What bothered me is that he decided to just up and leave instead. I dunno what the deal was, but I’m sure it was because I was being bitchy. Sometimes I just can’t help myself. I tried to be chill about it but it was upsetting. So what did I do. I left Jae after telling her what happened and I was still upset so I drove crying to Matt’s house and I fucked him. Why? Because I am a complete and utter moron. I show up on his doorstep crying. He asked me like a hundred times what was wrong. I didn’t tell him. I just said that I was upset and didn’t want to be alone. So he grabbed me in his arms and hugged me for like 2 minutes and then somehow it just happened. My thought process was that well if Nic doesn’t want to be with me then I will find someone who does. I knew that after Matt called me on Friday that he still wanted me. Even though I know that it will never work out and should stay far away from him I made the bad life choice. So now with all the emotional drama in my life I have to put a stop to it with Matt. I can’t deal with it. I’m just gonna have to tell him that it was a mistake.

As for Nic, well obviously I’m not going to tell him. I just can’t let him get to me like that. He texted me this morning. It was the most awesome good morning text…even if it was at 6:45 am and today was my day to sleep in lol. I responded back and he called me and we talked for almost 3 hours this morning. I like that we can talk for 3 hours about random stuff. Even though I was dead tired and just wanted to crawl back in bed, it felt nice to talk to him. Although I think somehow he knows about me and Matt because he asked me if I got laid last night. I lied and said no. Maybe I shoulda told the truth. I dunno. But he didn’t say anything more. There is no way that he could know unless he managed to bug my phone or something. The only person who knows about it besides me and Matt is Jae and I know that she didn’t say anything. Oh and also Erik, but he doesn’t even know Nic or what’s going on so no worries there.

But yeah, I really think that I just need to take a chill pill. My emotions are running high and I tend to make alot of stupid decisions when I feel like this. I’m thinking that I need to just focus on the stuff going on at work and getting some sleep and maybe playing some WoW instead of trying to go out with Nic every night. Give us some time apart to just chill out and slow down. I don’t even know where his intentions are. Maybe I’m just reading into it a bit too much. Maybe I should just ask him. I dunno. I need to think on things before I do dumb things. I feel a self destructive mode coming on. Need to work on preventing that lol.

Ugh almost 3am. I need some sleeps. Dear god let me get some good sleep with no nightmares tonight. I’m exhausted.

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