Shitty Tinder date

We talked on the phone for 2 hours. That means we have an amazing connection right? Wrong. Maybe if I didn’t have a glass of white wine before our conversation then I would get a sense that we have none. Something about my mood made him feel comfortable. I was open. I was curious. I was vibin’ on that high vibe. He was always considerate- asking about my day but at the same time giving me plenty of space because he knew I had a concert coming up and needed the me-time to prepare. He never pressured me. Everything had a flow. He was acting smitten and I couldn’t wait to meet him. He said, “I know you’re just looking to be friends but I like you already,” and I said “Oh we’re not gonna be just friends.” We get each other. We make each other laugh. He told me, he would be jealous if I spoke to other guys. His venus in Scorpio is exactly what I need right now; a dose of possessiveness and a dose of deepness. One afternoon, he picks me up on his boat. I’m so excited I’m practically running to the place. This is my long hair, don’t care moment. I’m carrying 2 bags of food because I said I will take care of the picnic lunch. My bags are heavy but it’s not slowing me down. I see him from afar. Damn he fine. Okay now. He grabs my hand, I get on the boat. Something’s wrong. Nothing that I can call out right now but something is wrong. I can feel it. He’s acting distant. Is he shy? Does he have anxiety? Yes, to all above plus depression. This will be a fun ride. I try to ask him about the buttons on the boat and how he drives the damn thing. After all, I just drank 2 cups of coffee and I’m excited to be here. I felt no excitement from his end. He’s just shy, I told myself. He just needs time to open up. He hugs me and reaches a kiss. I turn my head. Too early for this shit. Just because I know you doesn’t mean I will kiss you. We decide to get into the water. That’s where we have our first kiss. And no it was not romantic. Salty water constantly in our faces and the waves keep running into our mouths. It was a salty kiss. And yes, it has a salty ending. But we’re not there yet. Back to the kisses- they were dry, just like his personality. How do you have a dry ass kiss in the middle of the sea? I still ask myself the same thing. We swim. We flirt. We get back on the boat. I open up my 2 bags of food. I brought; 3 kinds of salami, 2 kinds of cheeses, 2 loaves of French bread for the sandwiches. Tomatoes and cucumbers for the salad because what is a picnic without a decent salad? Oh and I didn’t forget dessert- peaches and plums as refreshments and donuts and sugar orange peels to show  him that life can’t be too sweet. I start unpacking. He grabs my waist. Grabs my body closer to his. We kiss again. This time we don’t stop. I could feel his hard cock growing underneath the towel. I mean- I could really feel it. He grabs white sheets and unfolds them inside the cabin. He tells me to lie down. Wait. Are we fucking? Because I dont’ fuck on 1st dates. We lie down- he’s on top of me. This is a full on makeout sesh with to be continued for more. He takes my bikini top off. Removes his towel. Yea his dick is big. They’re definitely aren’t lacking in size on this island. He doesn’t try to fuck me. Instead, he says “Can you suck it?” Now hold up. What is a girl supposed to do in this moment? This for me has always been the most awkward. Not because I have a problem with dick sucking but because this fast- really? That’s all it takes? What about romance- did that go out the window? Or it’s not a thing for guys with boats? Yes I suck it. I start off really slow because I dont’ wanna dive into my pornstart skills just yet. We gotta build up to that. I have respect for myself. Ha! Slow to start and then going a bit faster. Add some spit into it. Add my hand and rotate it while moving my head up and down. It turns him on so much more when I start making noises as it hits the back of my throat. Oh you like that- you nasty dirty boy? You like me gagging on your cock? I can tell he watches a lot of porn. He must be lonely. Pornstar or not- this boy is putting me to work. He finally cums. It fills my mouth- I swallow it. He gives me a kiss. There are 2 types of men in this world; the ones who kiss you after you swallow their seed and the ones who don’t. I thought the ones who kiss you means they’re into you. But after my own experiments, I’ve come to the conclusion that it means absolutely nothing. We go to the table. We eat. So much food. I’m proud of myself for organizing this bomb ass lunch meal. I practially bought the whole grocery store. There was nothing missing. Except his gratitude. He didn’t even say thank you. Picture this; picture-perfect table that clearly took planning and effort on my part. It’s an epic fuckin lunch and it deserves an epic fuckin thank you!!! But no- he just sits there and eats it quietly. I know it’s good food because I’m a fuckin picky eater. Everything is fresh from the farm. But he just sits there quietly looking into space. His body is next to me but his mind is elsewhere. The worst feeling is being next to someone and feeling like you’re all alone. It would have made no difference if I was there by myself. That’s how empty it felt. Where was the curiosity, where was the excitement? Where was his soul?? He has none- it’s at the bottom of the sea. So after we eat, he has the nerve to turn to me and ask, “Did you bring that massage oil?” Yes I did. Yes we did discuss that he has a bad back and I’m good at giving massages. I give him a massage. It relaxes him and turns him on once more. We make out and he asks me suck his dick again. This time I look out into the water while doing it- it’s hotter that way. Sucking dick while looking out into the ocean sounds like a hot Hollywood scene but it gives me a feeling of wanting to escape this idiocy. Wow he’s just putting me to work all day; Suck his dick. Put on the table. Massage his back and suck his dick some more. And what do I get? A stamp on my forehead for being a fool. Two hours later he drops me off- back at the shore. His goodbye was just like his kiss- dry, salty and with no personality. If I ever agree to see him again then reach across this page and slap me.